The Ghost in Octavia Spencer’s House: “Don’t Make Me Drink Alone”

He was once a Western movie star.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - DECEMBER 02: Octavia Spencer attends the Los Angeles premiere of Amazon St...
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ghost stories

Octavia Spencer, star of the cultural reset Ma, has a ghost in her house. And I don’t want to scare you, but she talked about the ghost during an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, which is still being filmed despite this writer’s assumption that the titular Ellen DeGeneres had been removed from her post. You’re screaming, and I know — the effects of cancel culture are terrifying.

During her visit, Octavia Spencer tells Ellen that she grew up watching Westerns, and through matters of chance and perhaps fate she ended up purchasing a house in Toluca Lake in 2013 that was formerly owned by a Western movie star. “I must have been a fan of his,” she says, and I agree. These things don’t happen unintentionally. I assume you have questions and I will do my best to answer them for you.

Q: Is Octavia Spencer scared of her Western ghost?

A: No, Spencer sees her ghost as a “protector.”

Q: Is the ghost hot?

A: I would bet that he is, but Spencer does not mention his hotness either way.

Q: Does she fuck the ghost?

A: Please keep the questions PG-rated and do not curse.

Q: Can I say hell or damn?

A: No.

Q: Okay, does she love the ghost?

A: Yes, she loves the ghost. "I love him,” she told Ellen, “because he kind of sorts out the bad people that shouldn't be there. He runs them out."

Q: What does she mean by “bad people”?

A: It seems like she means potential romantic partners. She said: "If they stay at my place, they don't wanna come back. And that's how I know that they don't belong here.”

Q: What happens if the people are good? Does the ghost have sex with them?

A: Oh my god you’re obessed with fucking this ghost. No, the ghost doesn’t have sex with them; they just feel at home. "If you're a person that belongs there,” Octavia told Ellen, “everybody is like, 'Oh, your place is so welcoming. It's so great.' And that's how I feel about it."

Q: Is Octavia Spencer’s ghost ever mad at her?

A: Yes, she says that when she leaves for a long time “he's a little shady."

Q: And does the ghost do anything scary when he’s mad?

A: The ghost only does things that are mildly scary. "The doors close, the lights go off when I turn them on," she said.

Q: Is Octavia Spencer possessive of her ghost or do they have an open relationship?

A: Well I see what you’re doing and this question is borderline inappropriate, but the fact is that, yes, she is somewhat possessive of her ghost. "The only problem — I love my ghost, I just don't want you bringing your ghost to my house,” she told Ellen. “I don't want anybody's ghost thinking they can be friends with my ghost."

Q: That sounds like an unhealthy relationship dynamic. Should we be worried for the ghost?

A: Well, I don’t know. She also says they have boundaries.

Q: Boundaries like what? He gets to hang out with other ghosts on his own time?

A: Well, no. The boundaries she mentions are haunting-related. She said: "My ghost can haunt me, but he doesn't haunt me. We have boundaries."

Q: Seems like kind of a one-sided relationship.

A: I know, but I’m not sure if ghosts are allowed to move around much. He might be happy there. It’s not really our place to judge.

Q: I guess.

A: Yeah.

Q: And she’s not even fucking him?

A: Okay, enough.