Taylor Swift Better Be Performing at the Super Bowl Halftime Show

A move by Apple Music has aroused suspicion among fans

TORONTO, ONTARIO - SEPTEMBER 09: (NO COVERS) Taylor Swift attends 'In Conversation With... Taylor Sw...
Amy Sussman/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Taylor Swift should have performed at the Super Bowl already. It is a crime against the United States of America that she has not. The reason behind this treasonous behavior is rumored to be Taylor Swift’s “long-term partnership” with Diet Coke; the Super Bowl Halftime Show, as you know, is sponsored by Pepsi — Diet Coke’s sworn enemy.

Or is the Super Bowl Halftime Show sponsored by Pepsi?

It is not (anymore).

Pepsi pulled out of its sponsorship deal with the NFL in May of this year. For months, the Super Bowl Halftime Show went sponsorshipless. Tom Brady cried into his football every night — will anyone pay for my darling Super Bowl Halftime Show?, he wailed. Please, please, please won’t someone enter into a mutually beneficial financial agreement with my beloved NFL, PLEASE! It was so sad. Until last night.

“We are proud to welcome Apple Music to the NFL family as our new partner for the iconic Super Bowl Halftime Show,” said the NFL’s Nana-Yaw Asamoah yesterday in a suspiciously timed announcement about the partnership. “We couldn’t think of a more appropriate partner for the world’s most-watched musical performance than Apple Music, a service that entertains, inspires, and motivates millions of people around the,” blah blah blah.

Yes, I did mention the announcement was suspiciously timed. That is because it happened … at midnight.

As you well know, Taylor Swift’s forthcoming album is titled Midnights. The Rhode Island resident has also been making announcements on TikTok every night, at midnight, about the album’s track titles. As you also well know, Taylor Swift has settled into a very loving relationship with Apple Music after speaking out about its decision, reversed after Swift’s input, to not pay royalties to artists during its free trial period. They were not so cool, but now they’re best friends.

So does this mean she’s going to be the artist to next take the stage at the Super Bowl Halftime Show? Well, I’ll tell you this much: