Would You Have Dated Colin Jost in High School?

Scarlett Johansson wouldn’t have, but this is a question for you.

US actor Colin Jost attends the American Museum of Natural History Gala on November 21, 2019 in New ...

Here’s something to think about: Would you have dated Colin Jost in high school?

In an episode of The Drew Barrymore Show that aired earlier this week, cream spokesperson Scarlett Johansson said she would not have. (She’s currently married to him, if you forgot.) “Personally, my brother had that same haircut, both of my brothers, and I just can’t,” she said. ”There’s no way.” You can see the haircut in question in Colin Jost’s high school yearbook photo, and I suggest taking a good look, because now it’s time for you to decide.

Maybe the yearbook photo is enough for you to choose whether you would or would not have dated boat co-owner Colin Jost in high school. Maybe you had a crush on a boy with that style of haircut, and now you’re feeling a swarm of warm butterflies in your stomach and chest. But if not, I have a few more young Colin Jost facts to help you make up your mind, via his “25 Things You Don’t Know About Me” from Us Magazine:

“2. I commuted an hour-and-a-half each way to high school in NYC. I took a bus, a ferry, then a subway.
3. I did a ton of speech and debate in high school and had zero sex.
4. I was the editor of my high school newspaper, The Owl, and wrote a humor column called ‘Owl Droppings.’”

Huh. He was also raised Roman Catholic, if that helps one way or the other. He went to Regis High School in Manhattan, commuting from Staten Island. I think people in New York City like to hint at their status by showing off the fact that they possess knowledge of elite private NYC prep schools, but the fact is that is knowledge I do not have, so I can’t help you there.

Google says this about Regis High School: “Regis High School is a private Jesuit secondary school for Roman Catholic boys located on the Upper East Side of Manhattan in New York City.” Brian Kavanagh went there but not Brett Kavanagh, so don’t let the thought of Brett Kavanagh steal from you the sweet kiss of young Colin Jost. I have to imagine he was sort of the “Dan Humphrey” character in the Gossip Girl of his school, which sounds good, but as we know Dan Humphrey turns out to be the main villain, so. It’s something to consider.

Obviously, Jost went to Harvard after graduating, and well … you know how those kids were. (Kids who had the Ivy League on their mind.) Maybe, unfortunately, you were attracted to that style of high school boy, and I understand and forgive you for that. We are not the mistakes of our past.

So I guess it’s time for you to decide. Please fill out this form (honestly) and drop it in any mailbox. The mailperson will take it from there.