Put Meghann Fahy in More Things
The breakout star of ‘The White Lotus’ should be a bona fide leading lady
Meghann Fahy is the breakout star of season two of White Lotus. For Meghann Fahy fans, this comes as no surprise.
Fahy has been a source of joy and warmth for the Fahy Fanatics since her turn as Sutton Brady on Freeform’s The Bold Type. There she was a young fashion magazine woman dating an older suit man, and we loved her. She was sharp, effortlessly charming, effortlessly beautiful, magnetic; the kind of woman who really should have the respect of her fashion boss at the magazine, even if she sometimes messes up planning a photo shoot, and who really should be able to convince her older suit man to stay with her, even if she doesn’t want children and he does. (And even if, when they got married, she wore an uncharacteristically hideous wedding dress; oh my god it was so bad.)
According to her IMDB, she also starred in the Hallmark Channel’s Just Add Romance, a show I have never heard of. “When Carly and Jason, exact opposites, compete on a famed cooking show for the chance at their own restaurant, what will matter more — their culinary careers or their potential love?” is the description, and goddamn if that doesn’t sound like something I want to watch right now. Meghann Fahy can do no wrong.
On White Lotus, a show that is certainly trying to say something about sex and money, Fahy stars as Daphne, the blissfully happy wife of an evil rich guy named Cameron — or is she (blissfully happy)? She is not, and her children are not Cameron’s but instead her blond personal trainer’s, whoops. It is so complicated to be rich, and also it is sad, and also it is dirty, and that’s what we are learning from White Lotus. We are also learning: We need more Meghann Fahy.
Meghann Fahy is mesmerizing to watch. In a world of uncharming losers, she has real charisma. In a galaxy of people who are fucking boring to watch on TV, you can’t look away from her face as it moves between softness and smoldering anger with barely a twitch. She’s incredible, and after this season of White Lotus is over, I am going to need a constant new stream of her in order to survive. Luckily I have some suggestions for other things she could be in, starting immediately.
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The Flight Attendant
Kaley Cuoco has done enough flight attending and struggling with sobriety and solving murders. It’s time to reboot the franchise with a new flight attendant who is struggling with sobriety and solving murders: Meghann Fahy.
Wednesday
She could be like … you think she’s a normal teacher at Nevermore Academy, but she’s actually the most fucked up person there. Damn. Did not see that coming from her. Absolutely spooky.
Below Deck
I think there are around 39 Below Deck franchises currently running on Bravo, the newest of which being Below Deck: Adventure. But I’d most like to see Meghann Fahy on Below Deck, the original series, featuring stud of the sea Captain Lee. I think she would make an excellent Chief Stew, and she would fix the charisma void created by Kate Chastain’s exit. Plus Captain Lee could call her “kiddo.” Captain Lee Meghann. Captain Lee Meghann. (That’s her talking over her walkie.)
NBA on TNT Halftime Show
The only people on TV currently with more natural charisma than Meghann Fahy are Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley, and Shaquille O’Neal. Not sure what we’re waiting for, let’s get her in there.
Mad Men
I bet we could go back and put her in Mad Men digitally somehow, though I guess I’m not sure who she would be. Her Bold Type husband, Richard (Sam Page) is the guy Joan was with (Greg Harris); she could be something with him? She could be like … Peggy’s competition, somehow? Maybe she’s really good at doing ads? Or maybe she’s someone from Don’s past and we only see her in flashbacks. I don’t know, figuring out her role is above my pay grade, I just want her on old eps of Mad Men ASAP.
New Host of a Twilight Zone Reboot
Let’s try it again, why not.
In a Box Underneath My Christmas Tree
She could come out and have dinner and stuff, but mostly she would stay there and talk to me in the living room. (Obviously the box wouldn’t have a top, so she could breathe; it would functionally be more like a nest.)
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Well anyway, those are my ideas. Now you get to work making them happen.
Previously: Put Alan Ruck in More Things
