Put Alan Ruck in More Things

In every viewing experience there are fine actors upon whom the viewer gazes and feels nothing. Rick Domansky, Jen Purge; these are fake names but the point is that it doesn’t matter, most actors are just there, on screen, pretending to be another person, and as viewers we are grateful for their service but don’t care either way about seeing them ever again. And that’s fine. But then sometimes it’s Alan Ruck on screen. And when it’s Alan Ruck we think … hey … gimme more of that guy!

Alan Ruck has maintained a steady career charming audiences since he was Cameron in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but he’s had a bit of a renaissance as of late, starring as one of the Walgreens guys in Hulu’s The Dropout — the best part of a surprisingly good dramatic recreation of recent scam events — and of course as the eldest son in the also surprisingly (to some) good Succession. His IMDB page tells me he also had a part in a 2016 television series called The Exorcist, based on the novel of the same name. I didn’t see it, which is my bad.

But Alan Ruck was also in Bunheads, remember?, and I have seen that, many times. His character dies at the end of the first episode, but pops up throughout the series every once in a while in dream sequences. Sorry for the spoiler, but if you haven’t seen Bunheads by now (a 2012 Sutton Foster-led Amy Sherman-Palladino ballerina show that lasted for one season and is currently available to stream on Hulu) (it’s genuinely really good) that’s on you. The point is Alan Ruck is great in it, and it’s always a delight to see him.

Because we could all stand to have a little more Alan Ruck in our lives, I’ve identified several areas that could stand to be a little Rucker. Feel free to identify your own areas, to yourself, once I’ve finished.

SEVERANCE

Alan Ruck could easily be in season two of the only Apple TV+ show anyone likes. He could be a guy at Lumen who you think is a good guy, but then actually, he’s the worst guy of all. What?? Oh my god. We didn’t see that one coming.

GILMORE GIRLS RERUNS

Amy Sherman-Palladino is clearly “Team Ruck,” as evidenced by his role in Bunheads, so why not insert him into old episodes of Gilmore Girls? Many of us are constantly in the middle of a Gilmore Girls rewatch, and if we had a secondary, “updated” version of the show to stream, featuring new scenes exclusively of Alan Ruck, we could easily convince ourselves that we were in fact experiencing something new. Just put him in the town. Actually, he can be Al from Al’s Pancake World. This is a perfect idea that I’m impressed I had.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES

I don’t need Alan Ruck to be a part of a Real Housewives franchise, but I think it would be nice if he had a Mystery Science Theater 3000-type show where he provided commentary for Real Housewives episodes. What does he think about Karen? What does he think about Dorinda? We don’t know now, but we would, if he had a show like this.

MY NEIGHBORHOOD

Speaking of towns, wouldn’t it be nice if Alan Ruck lived near me? I’d love to see him around.

ROYALS COVERAGE

The constant breathless media coverage of the royal family can start to feel stale. Here is a fresh angle: What does Alan Ruck think of the Queen? As far as I can tell, no one who has interviewed him has ever asked — not The Guardian, and not Men’s Health. In these situations it’s important to wonder why the media refuses to cover certain topics, and whether we all might be a little better off if journalists were braver about the kinds of questions they ask Alan Ruck.

I TEXT HIM PHOTOS OF MY DOG

Would love to have his cell phone number for this reason.

THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL

It doesn’t make sense to me that I have to be the one to point out that he should be in this.

*

See? Those are just some of my ideas. It’s up to those in power to take action now.