Prince Charles: I Did Not Personally Take Money from the Bin Ladens

It’s a dramatic time to be a member of the British Family. Harry and Meghan are summering in the United States, the Queen is sending messages through her iconic sticks, and Prince William is getting pegged by the hussy down the lane (allegedly). Always a jealous man, Prince Charles had to get in on the headline-making fun, and it was revealed over the weekend that Chuck accepted £1 million from the family of Osama bin Laden. Drama!

According to a report from the Sunday Times, the donation was made in 2013 by Bakir and Shafiq bin Laden, half brothers of the al-Qaeda founder. When will we stop hearing about nepo babies?? While the brothers were not lining Charles’s pockets directly — rather making a sizable donation to Prince of Wales Charitable Fund — some royal courtiers were aghast.

“The fact that a member of the highest level of the British establishment was choosing to broker deals with a name and a family that not only rang alarm bells, but abject horror around the world… why would you do this,” one source told the Times. Apparently several advisors to the prince told him to return the money, but he feared it would be “too embarrassing” to do so. Someone get a copy of Conflict Is Not Abuse to Clarence House ASAP.

Shortly after the report was released, the royal machine began to do its thing, clarifying that Charles had not personally accepted the money — that was done by the charity’s trustees, of course. But don’t worry, “thorough due diligence was undertaken in accepting this donation,” according to a statement from Clarence House.

Despite this fracas, Charles has been keeping busy. On Thursday, he spent the 31st anniversary of his wedding to Princess Diana driving around his planet-destroying wine and cheese car without a care in the world. He was probably thinking, “Beep beep! How wonderful it is to take a drive knowing that no one will ever know that I associated with the bin Ladens.” Was he ever so young?