Who Should Play Pac-Man in the Live-Action Pac-Man Movie?

It’s time to dust off your casting hats, Hollywood lovers. According to the Hollywood Reporter, a live-action Pac-Man movie is in development from Bandai Namco Entertainment (the company that makes Pac-Man) and Wayfarer Studios (the company that produced a Disney+ movie I’ve never heard of called Clouds). There are no details on the film as of yet, save for the fact that it will be based on an idea from Chuck Williams, the guy who produced the Sonic the Hedgehog movies. That leaves us to provide the biggest piece of the puzzle: Which actor should fill Pac-Man’s infamous “shoes” (which it appears he sometimes wears)?

To refresh your memory pre-casting, the plot of Pac-Man is: a circle eats dots. To make Pac-Man’s dot directive a bit harder to accomplish, little ghosts chase him. Using Pac-Man’s ancient Pac-Manian heraldry as our focal compass, these are actors we think would be best for the role:

Lee Pace

Lee Pace is red hot right now, and red tall. He’s in the movie Bodies Bodies Bodies (very Gen Z) and he was in Halt and Catch Fire, which proves he has a solid background in computers. This is perfect for Pac-Man, who as you know is in a computer. Not casting Lee Pace at this moment would be, in computer language, an error.

Al Roker

I’m a Roker stan, as anyone who knows me can attest, but I don’t think my inherent pro-Roker bias is leading me astray here. Roker is Pac-Man, it’s as simple as that. He’s got Pac-Man energy, his glasses lend him a Pac-Man air (I know Pac-Man doesn’t wear glasses, but it feels like he does), and he would bring a necessary joie de vivre to the project. You can’t be unhappy when you’re watching Al Roker work. Plus, his calming presence would make audiences feel safe around all the ghosts.

George (my co-worker)

“I should play Pac-Man,” George Civeris, Gawker editor, said this morning. “A gay Pac-Man would bring everyone together.” I can only agree!

Chris Eigeman

A live-action Pac-Man movie directed by Whit Stillman and starring Chris Eigeman — can you imagine it? I’m about to cry, the mental image is so beautiful. Eigeman as a charmingly acerbic Pac-Man who’s a bit grumpy about having to eat so many dots. The ghosts are Taylor Nichols (unenthusiastic about being a ghost), Chloë Sevigny (just wants to do a good job at being a ghost), and Kate Beckinsale (snobby about the proper way to be a ghost). Most of the movie is just them talking. Imagine Chris Eigeman saying this: “You know I actually like the ghosts? That’s how pathetic I am. I like the ghosts.”

Keke Palmer

Who says we can’t have a female Pac-Man (who isn’t Ms. Pac-Man) in this day and age? Daniel Craig? Well forget it, it’s 2022 and Keke Palmer is our brightest and most charismatic star. The surest chance we have for cinematic Pac-Man success is getting her committed to the project as soon as possible. Nope? More like yep — Keke Palmer is Pac-Man.

Camila Cabello

Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, or Erika Jayne

You know any of these ladies would absolutely shit their Depends if given the chance to play Pac-Man in the live-action Pac-Man movie. Next season their tagline will be: “In this town … I’m the leader of the Pac.” Picture it now: Kyle Richards dressed as a yellow circle, doing her unnatural comedy voice. Rinna screaming. Erika Jayne doing her natural helium voice. Hell, let ‘em all be Pac-Man at once.

Chris Pratt

Eh, it’s probably going to be him.