Michelle Branch Is Giving Her Alleged Cheater of a Husband a Second Chance

(Pretend to be supportive)

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 15: Singer-songwriter Michelle Branch and musician Patrick Carney of The ...
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good luck

You know when your friend breaks up with her terrible boyfriend, and you comfort her by reciting your list of all of the things you didn’t like about him in order, like (number one) how you always thought he was ... uniquely unattractive and (number two) how his band The Black Keys sucks shit, just as an example not based on anyone in particular? And then your friend gets back together with him, and now she’s mad at you? Well. It seems that Michelle Branch and Patrick Carney are putting a pause on their divorce.

Sorry, Michelle …

About a month ago, Branch was arrested after police arrived at her home to investigate a “possible domestic disturbance.” It turns out she’d slapped her husband, Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney; the charges were dropped soon after. The slap preceded the news that she and Carney were separating, after she found out he’d allegedly been cheating on her with his manager. “Just found out my husband cheated on me with his manager Haley McDonald from Full Stop Management while I was home with our 6 month old daughter,” she tweeted at the time and later deleted. In a statement to the press about her separation from Carney, she asked for “privacy and kindness.”

Now, according to new docs obtained by TMZ, it seems Michelle Branch and Patrick Carney are trying to mend their marriage before calling it quits for good. As the outlet reports, they’ve agreed to pause the divorce proceedings for at least six months while they attempt to reconcile, during which time they’ll live together and attend counseling sessions.

Ha, ahh, well. Sorry to Michelle Branch about all those things we said about Patrick Carney — a guy we continue to hate, but now in a quieter way, in the group text we have on the side without Michelle Branch. This guy super sucks and (out of earshot of Michelle Branch) we hope Michelle Branch divorces him soon for real. In a louder and less genuine way, though, of course we wish these two the best and hope they can work things out. Good luck!