F-Word (Father) Matt Damon Retires F-Slur

As you know, Matt Damon is the father of daughters; this is how he knows rape is wrong. Luckily for homosexuals, he is also the father of a daughter who was willing to tell him not to use, as he explained in a recent interview, “the word that my daughter calls the ‘f-slur for a homosexual.’” Perfection. What would we do without Matt Damon’s daughters?

In a new interview with the Sunday Times, Matt Damon, 50, felt it was correct to share the fact that he only recently stopped using the “f slur,” after being prompted by a lengthy letter from his daughter. She wrote the note after he used the word while telling a joke during a family dinner. (Regretfully he did not explain the joke in detail.) From the Times:

“The word that my daughter calls the ‘f-slur for a homosexual’ was commonly used when I was a kid, with a different application. I made a joke, months ago, and got a treatise from my daughter. She left the table. I said, ‘Come on, that’s a joke! I say it in the movie Stuck on You!’ She went to her room and wrote a very long, beautiful treatise on how that word is dangerous. I said, ‘I retire the f-slur!’ I understood.”

“I RETIRE THE ‘F’ SLUR!,” you can imagine him shouting to his daughter. “I RETIRE THE ‘F’ SLUR!,” and now maybe he’s shouting it in the kitchen, clanging a bell. “EVEN THOUGH I SAID IT IN STUCK ON YOU, I RETIRE THE ‘F’ SLUR! I UNDERSTAND!”

Although his daughter’s letter was clearly quite effective, if I had one critique I would say it seems like she did not appropriately stress the fact that his use of the “‘f’ slur” was embarrassing enough to not use as an anecdote on a press tour. Though you’d think he’d know that himself, since later, in the same interview, he complained about how journalists now, uh, quote your words after you do interviews with them, which he does not like:

“20 years ago, the best way I can put it is that the journalist listened to the music more than the lyrics. Now your lyrics are getting parsed, to pull them out of context and get the best headline possible. Everyone needs clicks.”

Hm. I wonder how he thought the music to this one sounded?