Leave Wally the Walrus Alone

Yes he is lovably destroying boats off the coast of Ireland, but that doesn’t mean you can bother him.

Sweet Wally

Walruses are semi-aquatic mammals who spend half of their time in the water, and half of their time above it, either on sea ice or land. (Walrus class dismissed.) This need for an above-water resting space is why you may have seen photos of lovable scamp Wally the Walrus lounging inside of a boat; photos which are, of course, “goals.”


Wally was first spotted in Kerry, in the southwest of Ireland, in March and has since continued his journey along the southern coast, becoming sort of an Irish celebrity in the process. (Why is he there? The answer seems to be, I’ll give you one moment to guess, yes, climate change.) Due to a dearth of sea ice, Wally has had to use several boats as his resting places before getting back into the water to continue his journey. Of course, the boats subsequently sank. And Wally should be able to sink as many boats as he wants; that is his right as an animal who has been fucked over by humanity. But having to use boats has, according to the Independent, left him injured and unhappy.

Because of this, Seal Rescue Ireland is in the process of attempting to give Wally a floating couch of his own, located somewhere peaceful, so that he might use that rather than all the boats. But in order to do so, Seal Rescue Ireland needs a bunch of Irish people to fuck off.

Melanie Croce, Executive Director of Seal Rescue Ireland, told the Independent, “The location where he is now, he’s getting [repeatedly] harassed and approached by boats. There are a lot of people who are not respecting the distance, coming up and sticking cameras in his face. We don’t want him to hang in this area because of the boats that are swarming him and not respecting.”

Before they can give Wally in his couch, you need to fuck off. Please fuck off, from and for Wally. Seal Rescue Ireland is insisting that you stay at least 100 meters away from Wally and, if you spot him, to resist the urge to post his location on social media. Instead, fuck off and just tell them where he is, so they can find him and give him his couch. Then Wally can rest before he has to make his “extremely long swim,” according to Croce, back to either Iceland or Norway.

Please, Ireland — fuck off. For Wally.