Kyle From ‘Summer House’ Is $4 Million in Debt?!

In a recent episode of Summer House, Kyle Cooke, one of Bravo’s worst husbands, had a drunken breakdown. This type of breakdown happens for Kyle about once per episode, with the culprit usually being his now-wife Amanda’s insistence that he not stay out partying until 4 a.m., due to his history of cheating on her while staying out and partying until 4 a.m. (In Kyle’s opinion, it’s his right to stay out getting wasted, because his life is stressful, as he is currently planning a wedding while simultaneously running an alcoholic seltzer company.)

But this time the culprit was umm … everybody fighting at dinner, and not being particularly nice to him, even though he is stressed? Or I’m not sure. It’s often hard to tell the source of these sorts of drunken Bravo arguments, but regardless, some interesting information came out of his breakdown, which is: Kyle is, at present, $4 million in debt.

“I’m in a lawsuit,” Kyle said before storming away from a Hamptons restaurant dinner table. “I’ve spent $200,000 on legal fees this month. I’m $4 million in debt with the loan for my business. Everything is on the line.”

The legal fees, according to my research, are the result of Kyle’s company Loverboy terminating a contract with an alcoholic beverage distributor. The distributor sued Loverboy and then Loverboy countersued, as far as I can tell, and the matter has since been settled. The $4 million in debt is of course a Loverboy thing.

“There is so much misunderstanding going on right now, I almost want to throw up,” Kyle says in a clip from an upcoming episode to his castmate Danielle. “Hey, friends! Maybe check in on me! Every day of my fucking life for the past three years has been stressful.”

He keeps going: “When you’re running a company, when you’re trying to plan a wedding, I’m doing everything. We can’t even get a fucking florist proposal for less than $15,000. Fucking flowers, dude!”

Fucking flowers, dude, I know. Personally I would never spend that much on a wedding, but I also personally would not fuck up my relationship with Amanda (perfect Amanda) to the extent that her family demanded I sign a contract in advance of our wedding that said if I cheated on her before or soon after the wedding I would have to pay back the amount of money they spent on the wedding. (Please keep up with that sentence, I am not repeating it.)

Good luck to Kyle, to his now-wife Amanda, and to everyone’s favorite alcoholic seltzer brand Loverboy. May you not have to file for bankruptcy, even though I am aware you would emerge fine financially even if you had to do so. Amanda, the offer to crash at my apartment if you ever need to (with your two puppies, of course) still stands.