Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson Celebrate Jan. 6 in the Bahamas

The couple may have escaped, but you will never escape them.

Kim Kardashian; Bahamas; Pete Davidson
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force feeding

After spending New Year’s Eve apart, Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson are kicking off 2022 with some quality time together on vacation. Since Wednesday, they have reportedly been staying at a private residence in the Bahamas with some close friends, including “Simon Huck.”

You will not escape knowing this.

Maybe you thought 2022 would be different. Maybe you aren’t usually one for New Year's resolutions, but with everything that has been going on in the world, you were ready for change. Maybe you thought a traditional “resolution” was a bit binding, so you opted for a different take on it; an enhancing and dehancing, so to speak, of current behaviors. More laughing, more sun, more walks along the ocean. Less stressing, less scrolling, fewer purchases of things you don’t need. More deep conversations. Less celebrity gossip, which you recently read lowers your cognitive abilities (or something like that). More adventurous cooking. Less time being pandered to about celebrity relationships you feel you know for a fact are false, perpetuated by a media ecosystem that assumes the gullible masses will buy whatever lies are sold to them by those whose faces they know from television. And even if they don’t believe it, they’ll still talk about it; they’ll talk about how weird it is, these two?, they’ll talk about how they don’t believe it, they’ll talk about how stupid it is, how they hate it, or, actually — they love it; this is actually fun, finally celebrity gossip is fun again; actually, the guy is hot … not hot like “hot” but hot like, he would be hot at a party. They get the attraction, actually. Actually they do think the relationship is real, weirdly? And what do you think?

No. No more, you said.

And yet here you are. Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson are on vacation together in the Bahamas. And you know what else? Pete and Kim seem “stoked to be together, massively grinning as they checked out the scenery,” says TMZ. TMZ sources say Kim finds Pete "extremely charming.” Good luck escaping this. TMZ says they’re “ready to soak up the sun.” Well, at least I don’t know about Kanye and Julia Fox, you think. Oh fuck wait.

Welcome back, my friend. You were always here. And you’ll never leave.