I Will Teach Britney Spears About Pete Davidson and Scott Disick

OK, random? Britney Spears was aware that the boys — that would be brothers-in-law-twice-removed Pete Davidson and Scott Disick — were hanging out, but she didn’t know who the boys were. Interesting.

In a now-deleted repost from Lord Disick’s Instagram story in which Pete brags about a wild boyz night, Britney wrote, “Sorry had to repost this. No idea who these people in the video are but it made me laugh so hard !!!!” Emancipated Britney is a known meme lordess, so I’m not going to refute her opinion that the video is hilarious, but I’m shocked she apparently doesn’t know who Pete Davidson is. He is probably the most famous working comedian alive, insofar as his life’s work is sharing a bed with hot chicas for a fortnight or two apiece.

Of course, Britney has had other things occupying her attention these past decades. She has lived a legendarily sad life, and evidently one in which there are quite a few knowledge gaps pertaining to a specific slice of current-day pop culture, if she doesn’t know who grizzled road-dog comedians Pete Davidson or Scott Disick are.

This opens up a shocking new line of inquiry: Does Britney Spears know about another The Lonely Island, another SNL export for hot women, with whom her lecherous ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake often collabed? Does she know about “Dick in a Box,” and has she ever sang it under her breath when the UPS guy comes, like the rest of us? Has she heard “Ras Trent” even? Does she know what a Borat is? A Snooki? A Nicole Richie in The Simple Life: Road Trip? Does she know about Sydney Sweeney doing her makeup in Euphoria? David after dentist? Scarlet when she took a tumble? The entirety of this video I fall asleep to every night called “Iconic vines that cured my anxiety”? Other comedy highs?

Poor girl, one might be tempted to say with a pitying shake of the head, but look at it this way: Britney has so much laughter to catch up on now that she is free.