Finally Some Normal People for Once

Julia, Kanye, Shailene, Aaron, the Queen, and other examples? I’ve absolutely had it up to here with their nonsense! I’m exhausted! It’s always this and that with these people — breaking up, making up, dying, being alive. What does a woman have to do to encounter one bit of normalcy in this crazy, mixed-up, “garbage fire” of a world, huh?? One little moment of something being regular?? You tell me! I’m freaking out! I’m going absolutely nuts! I’m— oh wait, what’s this?

“During a recent interview with Esquire, Edwards, 59, revealed that he and Winningham, 62, privately eloped last year. The Inventing Anna actor said the intimate ceremony was ‘just the two of them and an old friend to officiate.’”

Huh … this People magazine aggregation of an Esquire article about actors Anthony Edwards and Mare Winningham seems promising. I feel my breath deepening, my shoulders untensing. Two people I recognize from television and film privately eloping last year in an intimate ceremony, you say? I’m suddenly weightless. And what else?

“‘We're too old to throw weddings,’ Edwards told the publication before praising Winningham. ‘She's just spectacular. She's an amazing singer and she's a wonderful actress and she's an incredible person.’”

Ahhh. Yes. Yes, that’s it. They’re too old to throw weddings, you understand? They eloped privately. He thinks she’s an incredible person … yes, yes … yes, okay. I’m much better now, thank you.

And please — don’t tell me another THING about PUTIN!