Attention, Attention! Dylan Sprouse Has a New Body!

Picture in your mind the body of Dylan Sprouse. You are wrong.

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA - MARCH 27: Dylan Sprouse attends the 2022 Vanity Fair Oscar Party hosted ...
Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage/Getty Images

Prithee, fellow Sprouse-people, deliver me your ear. I come with good word from E! Online, which hast divined its valorous news with displeasure from the poor and decay-ed Instagram. Nay, you need not hide your eyes, good people; I spake only of handsome treasures — to be found forthwith.

“On April 28, the former Suite Life of Zack and Cody star, 29, debuted his new summer bod by posting a series of photos on Instagram that saw him pumping iron at the gym with musician Bazzi,” spake E!. I beseech you, good Sprouse-person, has thine eye met before such a honey-tongued description of a ‘gram? Prithee, get thee thine smelling salts, and look upon Dylan Sprouse’s summer body with thine lustful eye:

"Used to wear a shirt in the pool as a kid so I decided in my late twenties I wanted to change my body and become a meat head," spake Dylan. "This is my meat head post."

O beauty, till now I never knew thee …

“Been a long slog,” sayeth our lord, “but I’m proud of the progress I’ve made and I ain’t done yet.”

Pray you, sir, deliver me to the gym with musician Bazzi … with expedience!