Are You Sitting Down? Dax Shepard Used to Date Ashley Olsen

He says she was funny.

Dax Shepard: Amanda Edwards/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images; Ashley Olsen: Jamie McCarthy/WireImage/Getty Images
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We are all here right now. Fate has dictated that each of us would live on this planet during this time period, together. While we may not have chosen this time, it is the one we’ve been given and the only one we will ever have. We can only accept it. Yes, we are alive during the period in history when we have to learn one new piece of information about Dax Shepard every week. Please settle in for today’s news.

Dax Shepard once dated Ashley Olsen.

Dax Shepard, of MTV’s Punk’d and Gawker’s Divorce Watch, revealed this bit of information on his podcast Armchair Expert, the vehicle through which he reveals all of the information that gets him into the headlines that get him into our minds, where he will remain until we leave our earthly forms. Past Dax Shepard-related information includes but is not limited to: the thing about the penis and vagina, the thing about the mattress pad filled with protein shake, the thing about bathing his children, the thing about hating his wife, and the thing about using “heavy testosterone injections.”

On the most recent episode of Armchair Expert, Shepard revealed a bit of his salacious dating history. "I dated Ashley Olsen and she's just the most wonderful person,” he said. “She's fantastic." I know what you’re thinking, but you can rest assured that Shepard did not watch Full House. "I luckily never saw that show," he said. "Because I probably wouldn't have been able to be attracted to Ashley if I knew her as a baby." Whew. Thank god.

Shepard (47) admits that he and Ashley Olsen (35) were "a pretty weird pairing" at the time (“15 or 16 years ago” — you do the math), but that Olsen is "just super funny and sarcastic and intelligent." How did they meet? At a party, where Shepard was "kind of thunderstruck with the beauty" of Olsen.

Well, okay then. Not the worst person that Ashley Olsen has dated, we can at least say that.