Candace Cameron Bure Is Losing the War on Christmas

She says her words are being misconstrued as Jojo Siwa doubles down

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spiritual gangsters

Candace Cameron Bure is tired of the anti-anti-LGBTQIA+ hate speech being lobbed at her from the Siwanators and the Sweetinators, especially so close to what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life (besides the rapture), the November 27 release of her new agitprop film Great American Family Presents: Candace Cameron Bure Presents: A Christmas…Present. Instead of venting in one of her stunning, proprietary Dayspring by Candace Cameron Bure devotional journals, however, god’s smuggest warrior spilled to Page Six.

Via a “lengthy statement” from her publicist, Bure claims that her words are being misconstrued by a powerful bloc of lolers on Twitter, One Tree Hill’s Hilarie Burton, and heretic bloggers with blatant pro-Jojo agendos:

“It saddens me that the media is often seeking to divide us, even around a subject as comforting and merry as Christmas movies. But, given the toxic climate in our culture right now, I shouldn’t be surprised.”
The “Full House” alum went on to address the media, as well as “those who hate what I value and who are attacking me online” and people trying to “assassinate my character.”
“I have a simple message: I love you anyway,” she says, adding “To everyone reading this, of any race, creed, sexuality, or political party, including those who have tried to bully me with name-calling, I love you.”

She also claims that the Wall Street Journal, where she gave her original interview, left out a comment about inclusivity. “I had also expressed in my interview, which was not included, that people of all ethnicities and identities have and will continue to contribute to the network in great ways both in front of and behind the camera, which I encourage and fully support,” she said. OK, girl.

Shortly after Bure Christsplained to deaf ears, Jojo was caught by paps stepping out in a rainbow tracksuit yesterday. In a video posted to the Daily Mail, the “Every Girl’s a Superstar” singer doubled down.

“It’s no secret that I said she was the rudest celebrity to me a few months ago, but now what she did was really rude not to me but to a whole community of people and a whole family of people,” she said. “Honestly its just fucked up. It’s a little fucked up.”

When the cameraman suggested that Bure was not acting very Christlike, Jojo piped up, “Period! You tell ‘em.”

Jojo’s already won this one, and I think I speak for all of us when I say that she needs to be the lead in a streaming romantic comedy about a big-city pop star who returns home to small-town Nebraska and accidentally discovers the holiday magic of a sprig of gay mistletoe (Out for Christmas? A Little Christmas Queer?). Hopefully she will even have time to record an original song for it, between EGOT-ing and hosting SNL. It could single-handedly save Netflix. And Candace, if we ever see your ass at Sunday Mass, it’s on sight.