Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. Looks like Avery Cyrus, TikTok’s hottest girl jock, is prepping for a trip to Europe with her ex-girlfriend Soph Mosca, who is known and loved by many as “Soph.” This development comes mere days after she teamed up with the awesome and hospitable gang at Royal Caribbean to announce her wet ‘n’ wacky break-up with the ebullient Jojo Siwa.
On Monday afternoon, Cyrus posted a “comical” video to TikTok where she stands alongside Soph, under text that says “To whoever booked us a non refundable trip to Europe 8 months ago.” (It was them; they booked the trip.) Cyrus lip syncs to a sound bite that goes, “So as soon as we find out who you are, trust you will be dealt with.” Soph, phoning it in goes, “Period.” I understand videos like this contribute to their coin, and it’s nearly the holiday break, and we’re all phoning it in, but these flossy-haired chicas have about ⅛ of the charisma that Jojo has in just one of her culturally appropriative cornrows.
One spon-con trip with an ex is fine of course — but two in one month?! I’m starting to think Cyrus is not doing any of this for the right reasons. Luckily, Jojo’s got a strong female role model/momager in Omaha’s own Jessalynn Siwa, who posted an inflammatory and sympathetic Instagram story of Jojo recounting how she got played by Cyrus. Page Six captured the disappearing video. I got my best steno on the case to record what Jojo and Jessalynn said to one another:
Jessalynn: Why are you mad?
Jojo: ‘Cause I got used.
Jessalynn: For what?
Jojo: For views and for clout.
Jessalynn: Ohh, ohh.
Jojo: And I got tricked into being told I was loved and I got fucking played.
Jojo is likely talking about her recent ex going on vacation to Europe, the sexiest continent, with her other recent ex.
Not since Jojo’s sworn enemy Candace Cameron Bure made that condescending episode of her little-loved Christian series Candace’s Car Chronicles have I been this pissed on behalf of America’s sweetheart Jojo. People see her bright (though intentionally dimming) light and they want to hitch their wagon to her star. I’ve had enough! We’re going to have to get Jojo an A-list girlfriend and a six-part prestige docu-drama stat. She’s our Meghan Markle. She should try using someone for once.