Adele Moored in Baggy Old Pond

The singer's going fru it

LAS VEGAS, NV - JANUARY 9:  A promotional billboard touting the upcoming concerts by singer Adele is...
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Since last weekend, I’ve been saying to myself, “My show ain’t ready” in Adele voice.

It’s what she said in a raw Instagram address to her fans about postponing her Vegas residency 24 hours before showtime, and it’s become a catch-all in my own little world.

Blog post incomplete: My show ain’t ready.

Took too long in the shower: My show ain’t ready.

“Swimming pool stunt” looking like a “baggy old pond”: My show ain’t ready

That’s right. Adele said “no fank you!” and much worse in Cockney rhyming slang to her set designer Esmerelda Devlin’s final installation of a pool meant to be used at her upcoming Vegas residency. The singer was supposed to stand in the pool on stage while belting out her grocery store jams at Caesar’s Palace, according to The Sun. "The intention was to fill it with water on the set as she was lifted up on a crane-type mechanism, creating the illusion she was floating on water,” said a source.

But as we know, in Adele’s own words (according to an anonymous source), the pool instead ended up looking like a “baggy old pond.”

Page Six also reported on rumors that Adele clashed with her managers and the venue about their decision to add a 60-member choir to her “Skyfall” performance, when she just wanted to keep it low key. Adele also reported that supply chain issues and COVID outbreaks impacted her production.

Adele is going through enough right now to gather fodder for an entirely new record called 30 and a Half (good joke, you can use that one if you want and you don’t even have to credit me). But I worry that all this turmoil is clouding her judgment and critical thinking skills. While Vegas only seems to have one baggy old pond, it has plenty of swimming pools. Man-made bodies of water factored hugely into the various plotlines and love triangles of The Real World: Las Vegas. And in nearby Henderson, Nevada, it seems like there’s one above-ground pool per family unit. Balance Adele on a boogie board at Tao Beach Club, and call it floating on water. No more My show ain’t ready. Simple!