A Defamer operative returned to the scene of yesterday's vehicular tragedy and just filed this report on The Crash's aftermath:

Before you head off to lunch, why not take the Defamer Photo Challenge? Can you find the photo of the deployed airbags in Lindsay Lohan's wrecked Mercedes among the images of Rosie O'Donnell learning to use her cameraphone recently posted to her Flickr site?

Proving that Hollywood really does love a sequel, Lindsay "I killed the car" Lohan has totaled her Benz for the second time in a year. The Herbie: Fully Loaded star was not, in fact, loaded at the time, claiming that she was simply trying to outrun the paparazzi (because that's always a good idea). Our UV-loving brother, Defamer, paid one million dollars for exclusive rights to on-the-scenes photographs of Lohan's car which, even crumpled, is still better than anything you'll ever drive. And don't worry about Linds. She sustained only minor injuries and will be crowding into bathroom stalls two-by-two in no time.

A few minutes after 5pm last night, the Defamer inbox flooded with news (both from spies near the scene and those watching on local TV), about Lindsay Lohan's latest vehicular run-in with the paparazzi. Unfortunately, this was one of the rare moments when we weren't in front of our master the computer [Ed.note—We've already ordered stronger shackles.]. Here's the short version: Apparently fleeing some paparazzi, Lohan's black Mercedes collided with a red delivery van in front of the Newsroom on Robertson, treating many employees of nearby New Line Cinema to a breathtaking view of the ensuing chaos. Lohan and her passenger immediately sought the refuge of a nearby antique store with the improbable name of—we shit you not—Hideaway House. (Sadly, no one had to foresight to establish a small business called Run Here After The Paparazzi Make You Wreck Your Benz! Home Furnishings.) Lohan and her thrill-seeking passenger (you have to have a thirst for danger to take a ride with LL) sustained minor injuries, the guy in the van suffered more-than-minor injuries, and—we know what you're thinking—"Authorities said there was no evidence alcohol was involved in the crash." That certainly settles the issue for us.

Not too long ago, Entourage's Jeremy Piven (it's going to take a couple of movies before that "Entourage's" identifier goes away) complained to Liz Smith, "I don't think that anybody has ever seen my body!" Be careful what you wish for, Piv. From Page Six:

In this Michelle Williams/Heath Ledger-free edition of Gawker Stalker: Claire Danes, Jay-Z, Chris Rock, Matt Damon, Ed Burns and Christy Turlington, Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow, Liam Neeson, Kevin Bacon, Tina Fey, Kate Bosworth, Joss Stone, Amy Poehler, Neil Patrick Harris, Matthew Broderick, Topher Grace, David Schwimmer, Keri Russell, Jimmy Fallon, Christina Applegate, Leelee Sobieski, Woody Harrelson, Tony Curtis, Lindsay Lohan, Ric Ocasek from the Cars, Ashlee Simpson, Carolina Herrera, Mark Cuban, Tony Kushner, grungy Olsen Twins, David Wain from Stella, Peter Bogdonovich, Robin Givens, Molly Ringwald, and Lewis Black.

• Not even a week after Paris Hilton officially announced the break-off of her engagement to Paris Latsis, the heiress has been spotted skanking around with Stavros Niarchos, aka Mary-Kate Olsen's boyfriend. If our little squirrel twin goes into an anorexic tailspin because of this, we will kill Hilton with our bare hands. Bitch. [Page Six]
• Because everyone (but you) has a book deal, CNN's silver hearthrob Anderson Cooper is reportedly pulling around $1 million for a memoir of the past year of his life. Even more amazing: The furious bidding war for Cooper's tome was sparked by, well, nothing — there's no proposal, no outline, just the magic of Coop. [Lowdown]
• What's up with Lindsay Lohan's crankypants? They certainly don't fit her well, especially now that she's eating. [Page Six]
• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore may be legally married, but their crackpot Kabbalah rabbi wasn't ordained — meaning their union is less kosher than a pulled pork sandwich.
• When things don't go well at Damon Dash's America mag, the Roc-a-fella co-founder throws punches. [R&M]

• In the video for Lindsay Lohan's next single, Confessions of a Broken Heart, watch for lots of ripped-from-the-headlines spousal feuds and tearful rosary-clutching. And to think people say the girl can't act. [R&M (3rd item)]
• Splash News photo agency is suing OK! sister publications the Sun and the Express for 5 months' worth of unpaid fees. Surely Splash understands that when millions are being spent on fuzzy pictures of what may or may not be the Federletus, paparazzi bills are going to have to wait. [Page Six]
• CBS News president Andrew Heyward's contract is reportedly up this year, and chances of renewal are looking slim. Feign surprise, we dare you. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• While NYU grapples with the loss of prized student Mary-Kate Olsen, we can all take solace in knowing her presence may be replaced with that of actress Amanda Bynes. [Scoop (2nd item)]
• Did Renée Zellwegger leave Kenny Chesney because of her romance with folk rocker Damien Rice? And can she maybe stop fucking musicians long enough to sign the divorce papers? [Page Six]
• Bad news for The Gays: The 2006 FDNY calendar just might be the last. [Gatecrasher]

· Riddle us this: Is there any part of Lindsay Lohan's body that hasn't been tagged by a B-list actor?
· After recent, turbulent periods of sexual experimentation and drug trafficking, the Teletubbies are finally ready for their own True Hollywood Story. Tinky Winky's definitely hit rock bottom.
· Just because some naked people have tattoos and piercings doesn't mean that they don't have regular naked people problems.
· The hilarious Amy Sedaris does make a fine talking penis.
· After this family's done with The Amazing Race, maybe they can sign up for The Simple Life.

• Kate Moss' well-documented coke binge last week doesn't compare to that one time she blew through a fist-sized mound of cocaine with fellow catwalker Naomi Campbell, or when she demanded several hundred British pounds' worth of coke just to attend an event with Nelson Mandela, or that three-way incident with Jude Law and his then-wife, Sadie Frost. [R&M]
• The pre-Emmy party at the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel was a tweenie showdown, with Nicole Richie and Mischa Barton holding court on one side of the pool and Paris Hilton, Mary-Kate Olsen, and Lindsay Lohan on the other. Lohan, being friendly with both "teams," spent most of her time running back and forth. Then Hilary Duff took everyone's lunch money. [Page Six]
• On her last night as a free woman, newly-imprisoned rapper Lil' Kim enjoyed a tearful dinner at Mr. Chow and dancing at PM. All in Gucci, and all for the cameras. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
• When Mayor Bloomberg kisses a woman, it's "all teeth, no tongue." Remember that come November. [Page Six]
• Will Martha Stewart take off her chinchilla just long enough to shill for PETA? [Scoop]

A correspondent notes that a Google image search for "kate moss cocaine" returns one lone result: a photograph of Lindsay Lohan.

To paraphrase the great Michael Corleone, we try to get out, but they keep slipping us back in. Egotastic's uncovered a fresh Lindsay Lohan nipple-slip, a now-rare occurrence that once seemed like a weekly event. [Ed.note—Good times, good times.] In our continuing mission of service to you, the breakaway areola-craving reader, we've subtly labeled the spot of the infraction; however, we realize that this image might not be appropriate for our pre-teen readers, so we've demurely covered up the area with a tiny picture of Lohan's long-retired cleavage. Clicking the picture will take you to the potentially NSFW photo, sickies.

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Continuing the proud epistulary tradition shared between prison inmates and members of the media, NY Daily News JV gossip Lloyd Grove has kept up a correspondence with the Collins Correctional Facility's most famous resident, Michael Lohan, estranged father of everyone's favorite bony starlet, Lindsay Lohan. Grove's friendship is rewarded with a letter containing the jailhouse daddy's musical answer to his daughter's upcoming song about the Lohan's well-publicized familial turbulence. It's clear from his lyrical flair that Lindsay's songwriting gifts are genetic:

• Oh. My. God. Currently imprisoned Michael Lohan, father of innocent actress Lindsay, has penned a song to his daughter. And he sent it to Lloyd Grove, who's reprinted it in all of its glory. A sampling: I loved and protected you, I was THERE through it all./I do admit, I did at times fall./But these things you know were due to "THEM"/The ones that want to have a piece of my gem! [Lowdown]
• More hurricane tragedy: Rapper Juvenile's New Orleans home has been destroyed. Trent Lott's we could handle, but not this. [R&M (2nd item)]
• A holla to our favorite Star Jones impersonator, drag queen Flotilla DeBarge, who shared the Next mag Out There Award for Press Whore of the Year with gay porn star Michael Lucas. We're surprised the award didn't go to the actual Jones, but maybe next year. [Page Six]

It's been so long since we've heard anything about the once-intense Lindsay Lohan-Hilary Duff feud (starring Aaron Carter as Helen of Troy) that we'd assumed it had sputtered out all on its own; after all, how is Lohan supposed to find the time to actively hate on a bitch while spending seven nights a week haunting Hollywood clubs and monitoring her extreme, puberty-driven weight loss? There are only so many hours in the day. To her publicist's credit, however, Lohan's now claiming that she tried to be the bigger starlet and attempted to finally squash the spat, but Duff's sister was all, I don't think so!:

• According to reports from the VMA clusterfuck in Miami, Jessica Simpson wouldn't touch or speak to her "husband" Nick Lachey when the cameras weren't watching. How long until they start awarding Emmys for reality television performances? [Lowdown]
• Meanwhile, 50 Cent and Diddy kept their VMA time kosher, requesting that there be no pork in the vicinity. [R&M]
• Lindsay Lohan attempts to make peace with the impressively veneered Hilary Duff, but gets hung up on by Duff's sister. Frail ass-kicking TK. [Scoop]
• Robert Downey, Jr. and his new bride, Susan Levin, continue their catfight with billionaire Ron Perelman and wife Ellen Barkin. Downey's released a statement explaining that Perelman was disinvited from Downey's wedding not because Perelman didn't want photos of his house being sold, but because Perelman and Barkin are bitches. [Page Six]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.