As if the the conversion of Lindsay Lohan into doll form wasn't a bad enough idea, manufacturer Mattel is defending the smaller and slightly more plastic Lohan and big sis Barbie, which now include imagination-killing DVDs featuring their fictional exploits, as a parent's last defense against schools' shrinking arts budgets:
Who knew that local Fairfax Avenue watering hole The Dime had a Shirley Temple night? A couple of Defamer spies spotted decidedly underage (yet bar-omnipresent) starlets Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton there on Friday night, and one of them had an ear pricked up, capturing this paradoxically fascinating/inane moment of conversation:
· As seen on Defamer some six months ago, the Lindsay Lohan doll is finally available. Bathroom Stall Playset sold separately.
· Wild Boar in an Airport Limo, Stingrays in the Toilet Bowl, and other close-proximity animal terrors inspired by Snakes on a Plane.
· Maddox has a fake blog. This kid's going places.
· This is perhaps the least interesting lede to a gossip item ever written: "Steve Martin is many things - comedian, essayist, actor - but not everyone recalls that he's a banjo enthusiast."
· It's been ten minutes, so: Jude Law's penis. That's all.
While tax incentives have lured bottom-line-obsessed studios to far-off lands like New Orleans, the newly Hollywoodized locations are also reaping the (perhaps) unexpected consequences of the money-bringing industry invasion: local alcohol shortages induced by thirsty underage starlets, caddish foreigners making a mockery of the Seventh Commandment, and the crushing guilt of realizing that your tax breaks have made abominations like Big Momma's House 2 possible. From the LAT:
Sightings are sent in by dehydrated readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.
• It's relatively well-known that Jessica Simpson was paid $200k to appear on the premiere cover of the U.S. issue of OK!, but today's Page Six reveals that her genius father brokered a package deal: That fee covers six covers of the rag, and during that time Simpson is prevented from appearing in any other major magazine features. So don't hold your breath for that "Jessica's Sexy New Ankle Bracelet!" story in Cosmo. [Page Six]
• Are you not just SO totally excited for Lindsay Lohan's new album, which will contain a song expressing the pain of her broken family? Why can't you just stay out of her personal life? [Lowdown]
• As we mentioned yesterday, Kimora Lee Simmons has entered a pretrial intervention program for driving like a pot-addled maniac. Apparently, this program will keep her out of the slammer — but really, if it's not held at the Promises rehab, it's as good as prison. [R&M]
• We're not sure why Matt LeBlanc decided to confess to the National Enquirer that he almost cheated on his wife with a naked stripper, but at least she was naked. [Page Six]
• Demi Moore is seriously amazing. After being pregnant and miscarrying according to the Star and National Enquirer, she just might be pregnant after all. But at this point, do you really give a shit? Either poop that kid out or don't, let's just move on. [Scoop]
Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.
In her subscribers-only newsletter editorial titled "Take out the White Trash," Lookonline's entertainment editor Diane Clehane gets lost nostalgic for the 90's, when celebrity fashion icons were of the likes of Princess Diana and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. Today's reality, for Clehane, isn't quite so stylish:
• Us Weekly reports that young Maddox Jolie is referring to his mommy's boy toy Brad Pitt as "Daddy," prompting Jennifer Aniston to bravely cry on cue for a whole new slew of magazine reporters. [Page Six]
• Teenadonna Lindsay Lohan may be allowed to videotape testimony for her parents' divorce trial. How long, then, until said tape gets leaked on the internet? [NYDN]
• Tom Cruise's first wife, Mimi Rogers, gets pissy when the British press ask her about Cruise's insta-romance with Katie Holmes. As if they were interviewing Rogers for any other reason. [Scoop]
• Jacko's lawyer says they're close to reaching a child custody settlement with the mother of his children, Debbie Rowe. Rowe's lawyer, at hearing this, asserts that no such thing is in the works. We're still not sure why Jackson's allowed to have children in the first place, nevermind fight for them in court. [R&M]
• More on Jude Law and Sienna Miller: Okay, maybe she's 9 weeks into her first trimester, which is more preggers than we thought (although a Gawker reader who saw her on stage the other night reported that the actress looked rather skeletal). Also, Sienna believes Jude is a sex addict, which would explain why he can't stop porking anything with an orifice. [R&M]
• The US version of OK! magazine (hitting stands tomorrow, we believe) gets the first Michael Jackson post-trial, incredibly fluffy interview. Jackson was reportedly paid $2 million to sit down with the celebrity rag and got full approval over the article — so you know it'll still be perverted. [Page Six]
• If Lindsay Lohan is subpoenaed in her parents' ugly divorce trial, will she arrive to court late and too "sick" to testify? [NYDN]
• Pity the publisher who doesn't snap up David Gest's memoir of being beaten by ex-wife Liza Minnelli. That thing will be instant gold, we guarantee it. [Scoop]
• What does the Murdoch family feud mean for 11 Spring Street? No one knows yet. [Curbed]
• Sudoku vs. Sodoku: One is a game transmitted by the Post, one is a disease transmitted by rats. We fail to see the distinction. [Hard, Cutting]
• Trickle-down Hottie contests. Nominate NYC politicos over at the Observer's Politicker. [The Politicker]
• Thank God we're not the only ones who confuse LES blogger/stalker Lindsay Robertson and Long Island actress /trainwreck Lindsay Lohan. [Lindsayism.com]
• Everybody loves a byline. [Overheard in New York]
• Start piling the sandbags and boarding up the liquor cabinet: Lindsay Lohan is renting in Sagaponack for the month of August! Finally, a little danger in the Hamptons. [Page Six]
• Cindy Adams delves into the delicious rumor that the marriage of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson is already over and a facade is being maintained simply for the sake of their crappy MTV show. She also claims we heard it from her first, which is true if you exclude the 75 other rumor-mongers and forwarded emails preceding Adams' "scoop." [Cindy Adams]
• Katie Couric would like you to know that she is not a pi ata, nor is she filled with candy. Fine, so we won't beat her — but this really doesn't stop any verbal assaults. [R&M]
• If Scientology decides to muzzle Tom Cruise, maybe we'll reevaluate our position on things. Cults aren't all bad, you know. [Scoop]
• Nicole Kidman's mother is a loveless wench, but Nicole still loves her. Or something, whatever. [Gatecrasher]
We just knew it was a matter of time before a Lindsay Lohan sex tape surfaced, but we have to admit to being a little surprised that she didn't team up with someone a little beefier. Never underestimate the power of celebrity narcissism.
From our glittery bag of reader email:
Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.
Ever since a kamikaze shutterbug slammed his car into the Lohanmobile during a high-speed quest for some fresh pictures of the starlet's newly prominent skeleton, the paparazzi vocation has been red-hot. (That sound you hear is the sigh of a Fox executive who just realized that his studio already made a cut-rate paparazzi revenge flick last year.) On Sunday, the NY Times endeavored to better understand the "car-centered...uniquely Los Angeles art" of staking out the Ivy with a telephoto lens, which is "under siege" by reckless marauders from the Continent:
· StallionMania is not without its dark side. We can't approve of Butterscotch Stallion cybersquatting.
· If you've been looking for someone to blame for why Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie look so much alike (other than "puberty," but we're not talking about their bodies right now), her name is Rachel Zoe.
· Seeing Christopher Walken in Wedding Crashers reminded us of the time that he trounced us in a very memorable staring contest. (Self-linkage alert!)
· Fez is becoming a superhero. It's not entirely clear what his powers are, aside from an inexplicable ability to pork young actresses with obvious self-esteem problems.
· Why do we get the feeling that Sascha Baron Cohen was somehow provoked before going apeshit on a NY Daily News photographer?
