Time To Find Out About Bannon’s Bath Acid

If you have the former Trump advisor under oath, you must ask him about it.

NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 20: Former White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon exits the Manhattan Feder...
Stephanie Keith/Getty Images News/Getty Images

A grand jury indicted ex-Trump strategist Steve Bannon on Friday afternoon. The 67-year-old was hit with two charges related to ignoring a subpoena from the the House Select Committee on the Jan. 6 insurrection — one for failing to appear at a deposition, another for refusing to produce documents. The Department of Justice release on the indictment is a real snooze, but the prospect of dragging Bannon before a judge or jury has at least one point of intrigue: someone can finally ask him what happened to his jacuzzi.

Remember Steve Bannon’s jacuzzi? Back in 2017, no one knew exactly where Bannon lived, presumably because at nightfall he evaporates into a cloud of small bats, specifically this kind. But as an American citizen who has to file taxes, he certainly had a legal residence somewhere. He had signed a lease on a Florida house between 2014 and 2016, though a 2017 Washington Post investigation found that none of his neighbors had ever seen him there. (It’s a fortuitous place to claim to live, if you’re really rich; no income tax!)

In any case, while the Post was digging around, they found an email from Bannon’s old landlord, sent in Feb. 2015. Here’s what it said: “[E]ntire Jacuzzi bathtub seems to have been covered in acid." Put another way: Steven Bannon — investment banker, Biosphere 2 funder, former Cambridge Analytica vice president and one-time Breitbart executive chairman — may have not only used a jacuzzi, but poured acid on it. Sounds like fire and fury to me. Let’s get this man on the stand, brother.