Powerless German Prince Adopts Adult Son for Clout

Pass me the tissues

HAMBURG, GERMANY - DECEMBER 16: Kevin Feucht and Frederic von Anhalt attend the "Hamburger des Jahre...
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New Dad

Typically, there are only two ways to become a member of a royal family. You are either born into it or you marry into it. Neither seem particularly enviable, as the children of royals are usually hemophiliac little weirdos and the spouses seem to fly into an immediate bout of chronic depression and/or eating disorders. There is, however, a third option: being adopted as an adult by a prince who has no actual power but did buy a little military outfit.

That is the route taken by Kevin Feucht, a 27-year-old UC-Santa Barbara grad who was adopted by the 78-year-old Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt, widower of Zsa Zsa Gabor, friend of Feucht’s dad, and sole heir to the German monarchy. Notably, the German monarchy was abolished in 1918, meaning that von Anhalt has no claim to power or even money from the now democratic country. But hey, a title is a title (Adult adoption is family tradition: Von Anhalt himself was adopted into the defunct monarchy by Marie August von Anhalt in 1979 when he was 35).

Feucht’s royal responsibility will be to take care of von Anhalt in his old age. He told Page Six, “Frederic and I agreed that if I help around the place, cook for him, work with him on the computer, make sure his bills get paid – I got some of them lowered – and cook for him sometimes, I can stay.” Von Anhalt’s journey to find the right son was documented for the new A&E show Adults Adopting Adults.

As Von Anhalt told Page Six, “I did it on television because I wanted to show lonely people that they do not need to be alone… You can adopt a grown-up and have somebody who helps you from day one. You don’t have to raise a child.” What a great point. It’s shocking that no politician has recommended that childless septuagenarians just adopt a millennial instead of relying on the state to take care of them. Unless you count whatever weird shit Rep. Matt Gaetz is up to.

But where are Feucht’s birth parents in all of this? Apparently, they’re chilling. “He has a new birth certificate and I am his official father. His father and I are still friends. His mother and father are both fine with it,” said von Anhalt.

Feucht, who runs a soccer training center in Munich when he is not in Los Angeles, seems to be getting away with an incredible grift here. He gets to keep living his normal life, maybe doing a few extra chores, and be on TV. Then, when von Anhalt croaks, Feucht gets to inherit both his title and Zsa Zsa Gabor’s estate. After that I am sure he will sell his life rights to Netflix so they can make a movie where Jacob Elordi gets adopted by Victor Garber and they both learn a little something about chosen family. One of them will win a Teen Choice Award (but not the one you think).