Divorce Watch: Jair and Michelle Bolsonaro

Over the past few years, alleged Munchausen's sufferer and outgoing Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro has experienced many afflictions: COVID, bladder stones, pneumonia, abdominal stab wounds that required a colostomy bag, intestinal blockages that required a “gastric probe,” a skin infection that rendered him unable to “wear pants,” “chronic hiccups,” and of course a decisive loss to his presidential opponent Luis Inácio Lula da Silva in October. Now it seems he may be suffering from a broken heart.

Yesterday, Bolsonaro announced that he would not be attending the inauguration of his opponent, Lula, on New Year’s Eve, opting instead to ring in the holiday at Mar-a-Lago. (Other reports claim he is headed to an Orlando condo unit donated by a farmer and avid supporter). Either way, it appears he will be traveling there without Michelle Bolsonaro — the woman 27 years his junior who once worked as his Parliamentary Secretary, whom he married after dating for six months in 2007. An aide told Brazilian journalist Rodrigo Rangel that Michelle planned to stay behind in the country; Bolsonaro, meanwhile, bought a one-way ticket to Florida.

Will Bolsonaro come back after his NYE bash? That remains unclear. He reportedly told supporters that the future held only three options for him: “arrest, death, or a second term as Brazil’s president.” The first seems possible, as the president will lose protected legal status on Jan. 1, and is currently under investigation by Brazilian authorities for a range of allegations. It’s possible the Federal Police will cancel his passport.

Is Michelle canceling their marriage? She did recently make a “discreet” visit to the American embassy in Brazil to sort out an issue with her visa, Metropoles reported. But an aide nevertheless sounded off on her decision to stay, telling Ragel:

Pathetic. She won't go because she doesn't want to go, because she isn't and never was a partner. She is stubborn, misguided, touchy, mediocre. In the most important moments, she didn't want to help...It would be good for her to go, and for their daughter (Laura, 12 years old) to go too. It's his first trip abroad since the defeat, and it's an important moment for him. But Michelle refuses. She is not at all what she tries to show the public. She is a bad person, a false believer.

There there, Jair. At least she signed a prenup.

Previously in Divorce Watch: Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen Are Divorced.