Bi Icon Kyrsten Sinema Needs Her Special Juice

Glug glug

UNITED STATES - SEPTEMBER 16: Sen. Kyrsten Sinema, D-Ariz., departs from the Senate Floor after a vo...
Caroline Brehman/CQ-Roll Call, Inc./Getty Images

Arizona senator and bisexual woman Kyrsten Sinema has cultivated a particular brand: the cool and whacky politician who will wear a wig on the Senate floor and then dramatically vote against a minimum wage increase. It’s the vibe of a lady who thinks she’s an absolute madwoman for licking the spoon after making brownies, a fun arty woman who loves that her son is gay but doesn’t give money to homeless people because they’ll “use it for drugs.” These types are very into wine, loving guzzling it down by the bottle in a way that they swear isn’t a symptom of dependence, but just a special treat at the end of any day that ends in “Y.”

Sen. Sinema’s wine mom vibe was confirmed yesterday in a tweet from Jordan Uhl, who captured screenshots from an Instagram account called @womenwholovewine that shows the lawmaker liking several posts. The gist of every one is, essentially, “Mama needs her grape juice :-)”

Crucially, Sen. Sinema liking these posts proves that she has no concept of what a good joke is. “Wine tasting… but it’s just me drinking in different rooms of my house” – even when grading on a middle-aged woman curve, that’s not that funny.

While going through the @womenwholovewine account, I noticed that Sinema does fave a lot of the posts, but notably does not fave any of the posts that one could argue contain an actual joke.

Take this one. I don’t think it’s “funny,” but I do think it has a setup and a punchline. Sinema disagreed, no fave.

But this one on the other hand, at best a humorous sentence, got a fave from the senator. Not only that, but she tagged two of her friends (@hotsauceandwine and @pandemic_bride) in the comments. Only @pandemic_bride replied.

How much Sen. Sinema drinks wine is not a concern of mine. Being an alcoholic is a pastime of America’s foremost politicians dating back to the Revolutionary War. What I am concerned with is that she has no sense of humor. If you want to be a well-liked drunk kook/senator, you should know a good joke when you see it. I bet Ted Kennedy was a barrel of laughs.