"Space Flavored" Coke Will Fix Everything

It sounds disgusting and I will be trying it

Diet Space

Were you ever to find yourself in the dark abyss of space without a helmet, you would be dead before you could really consider what space tastes like. You probably wouldn’t even think to stick your tongue out while taking your last gasp of low-oxygen air. Thankfully, the Coca-Cola Corporation has the solution to this problem.

It’s called Coca-Cola Starlight, and it’s bright red. The new limited edition flavor promises "notes reminiscent of stargazing around a campfire, as well as a cooling sensation that evokes the feeling of a cold journey to space.” To me, stargazing around a campfire tastes like smoke and a domestic beer, but that would probably be a bad soda flavor.

Apparently, Coca-Cola Starlight actually tastes like “a sweeter version of Coca-Cola” according to a CNN reporter and “chocolate [and] graham cracker” according to some guy on YouTube wearing a luchador mask.

That sounds disgusting, but I am intrigued. I will try any experimental flavor of Coke that the good people down in Atlanta want me to try. Coca-Cola with Coffee? Tried it, not bad. Coca-Cola Energy? Made my tummy hurt. Blood Orange Diet Coke? Disgusting, never again. Diet Coke Lime? Sent from God above, a gift to anyone whose lips it graced. Straying away from the canonical Coke flavors (Regular and Diet, not Zero) is a mixed bag, but one of life’s greatest pleasures is trying new things.

In the press release, the brand said that the soda "aims to bring space to life through a simple sip, capturing some of the mystery and essence of what we love about what lies beyond our atmosphere." How you do that with sugar and artificial flavoring is beyond me, but I’m willing to believe it. Why not? I will never get to know what space tastes like, but I can know what a sweeter version of Coke tastes like, and that is enough.