Fast Food Fail! Fry Famine Fricks Up McDonald’s Japan

As we prepare for a holiday season marked by surging COVID-19 cases, widely unavailable tests, overwhelmed health care workers, and other reminders that it’s always great to be an American, there is at least one thing you can be grateful for: I could not imagine a reality in which this country’s de facto sovereignty (McDonald’s) would ever restrict french fry sales due to potato shortages, as the fast-food chain is doing in Japan.

The company announced yesterday that, due to COVID-related global distribution issues and flood damages near a major port in Canada, fries at Japanese locations will only be sold in small servings, with sizes medium and large unavailable from December 24 to December 30.

It’s hard to imagine this ever happening in the U.S. (though at least one NYC establishment is running short on spuds), owing to the fact that customers here would very likely threaten violence upon service workers infringing upon their assumed god-given right to buy large quantities of hot, crispy, fried potatoes.

Condolences to the customers in Japan, the McDonald’s cashiers who have to deal with this week of limited fries, the people working on the supply chain issues, and anyone anywhere who has to do anything at all.