This Sailor is Smokin'… Much Like the Navy Ship He Set on Fire

Good for him on both counts.

Burn, Baby, Burn

The idea of taking an organization down from the inside is often fraught with its own problems, just ask AOC. Few people are able to do much damage at all, and instead get sucked into the machine they were trying to dismantle. This is not the case for Ryan Sawyer Mays, who allegedly set a Navy assault ship on fire to the tune of $30 million in damages last summer, and is very hot himself.

The Daily Beast reports that the Naval Criminal Investigative Service (NCIS, playing on CBS whenever you want) almost immediately suspected Mays with starting the blaze that injured 71 people. No one died, which is why we can say that it is, in fact, cool that Mays did this.

Apparently upset after dropping out of Navy SEAL training and a recent breakup with a female sailor who he thought was pregnant with someone else’s child (she was not), Mays was seen carrying a metal bucket into the Lower V, the rear section of the ship. What was in the bucket is unclear, but whatever it was might have caused a fire that lasted for almost five days.

In the NCIS search warrant, fellow sailor Kenji Velasco mentions that Mays “hates” the Navy. Who among us has not hated a job before? Also, hot people should not have to work. Mays is facing charges of arson within a special maritime and territorial jurisdiction, use of fire to damage federal property, and making a false statement. To which I say, free him. Every branch of the U.S. military deserves to be taken down a peg if not entirely dismantled. Mays, whose psychological wellbeing is unclear at this time, is being accused of singlehandedly taking an entire ship out of commission. It’s called direct action babes, look it up.