🚨 This post is about cows. If you’re looking for news about COVID-19 or natural disasters or labor issues or anything else, please close this tab and/or close your eyes and scroll all the way down until a new post auto-populates for you, in adfinitum. 🚨
Everyone else, here we go:
COW NO. 1
On August 26, a person by the name of Jessica Nelson posted a video of a cow sitting — and this is me editorializing — serenely in the back of a Buick sedan at a McDonald’s drive-thru in Marshfield, Wisconsin. “THERE’S A WHOLE ASS COW IN THE BACK OF THAT CAR!!!” Nelson wrote helpfully as a caption on the video.
“I thought it was fake at first. Who puts a cow in a Buick?” Nelson told the Associated Press, which perhaps suggests that a cow would be less surprising in, say, an SUV or a Kia Sedona.
Per the AP:
Nelson said that the family of the cow’s owner saw the post and contacted her. They said that the cow was actually a calf. She said the owner had just purchased it and two other calves — which were in the backseat as well but were lying down out of sight — at an auction.
Not just one, but three calves!
COW NO. 2
Now moving right along. On August 27, Reuters photographer Arnd Wiegmann captured some truly stupendous photos of Swiss cows being airlifted off a mountain. Per Reuters, those cows were injured “during their summer sojourn in the high Swiss Alpine meadows” and needed a ride back down the mountain. I know we’re not supposed to anthropomorphize animals, but just looking at these big bovines’ gentle eyes as they fly through the air, I think they know they’re being helped.
COW NO. 3
They say that all stories need to follow the rule of threes, so I had to find one more cow article to make this a post. Hmm let’s see… “Texans are using cow dewormer to treat COVID. Poison calls have skyrocketed.” What’s that about?
According to the San Antonio Express-News:
Concerns over improper usage of the drug has led the FDA to warn the public to not use ivermectin to treat or prevent COVID-19. “You are not a horse,” the federal agency said on Twitter on Saturday. “You are not a cow. Seriously y’all. Stop it.”
Sorry, I guess this post ended up being about COVID-19, after all.
