Meet the Embarrassing Crypto Couple Charged With Laundering Billions in Bitcoin

One of them is a rapper of sorts

Hacker hunting for crypto currency
Bad Romance

On Tuesday morning, a collection of words so random that they have likely never been before put together in such a heinous combination unfortunately came into being to describe a newly exposed criminal act: A New York City cryptocurrency investor and his rapping tech entrepreneur Forbes contributor wife, who also goes by the name “Razzlekhan,” were arrested on charges of laundering $4.5 billion in hacked bitcoin funds.

At the time that the funds were stolen in 2016, during the major breach of the Bitfinex exchange platform, that amount was worth about $71 million. This was allegedly transferred to the digital wallet belonging to Ilya “Dutch” Lichtenstein, and Lictenstein and his wife Heather Rhiannon Morgan — who are not being accused of being the hackers themselves — then conspired to launder that money. Prosecutors say the couple spent some of the money on gold, NFTs, and “absolutely mundane” — okay, rude — “things such as purchasing a Walmart gift card for $500.” The Department of Justice was able to recover a record-breaking $3.6 billion in bitcoin as part of this arrest.

Lichtenstein, 31, who holds citizenship with Russia and the U.S., describes himself as a “human angel investor, web3 developer, [and] serial entrepreneur.” Morgan, 31, is evidently a multi-hyphenate whose specialties supposedly include entrepreneurship, SaaS investing, surreal artistry, rapping, fashion design, synesthesia, and writing for Forbes.

Those are the facts, but where this story really sings is in the details. I will now do my best to shed some light on the most interesting facts about the most fascinating criminal duo in recent memory:

Their marriage proposal took the form of a “creative multi-channel marketing campaign”

This romantic gesture, which appears to have taken place in 2019, included putting up posters bearing the word “Razzlekhan” (remember, this is Morgan’s rap name, please try to keep up) around New York, guerilla-style, and buying ad space in Times Square. “Sweet, thoughtful, creative, positive ROI,” Lichtenstein wrote of his plan to ask his beloved girlfriend to marry him. Congrats on the many happy returns!

Morgan has released multiple rap music videos

Here are some of them:

As an artist, she promotes herself as “like Genghis Khan, but with more pizzazz,” according to the official Razzlekhan website, which also dubs her “the infamous Crocodile of Wall Street.”

Morgan is an accomplished writer, with years’ worth of contributions to Forbes and Inc

Her wide-ranging portfolio — food, music, career guru-isms, and more — is actually pretty impressive and would be a hit with the LinkedIn crowd. Here are some good ones:

She’s also an active content creator

TikTok! Instagram! YouTube! More than 20,000 followers on Twitter and almost zero engagement! Razzlekhan’s hustle is undeniable.

The couple own a cute Bengal cat named Clarissa

Clarissa has her own Instagram account. She’s really beautiful. I hope someone is looking after her.

I can only hope this experience will only bring the happy couple closer together. Here they are at a restaurant, during brighter times: