Gawker's Year in Brows

Not that kind

Markup with ruler on eyebrows of yong woman during permanent make up.

There isn’t much time to smile over here at “girl Gawker plus one man” HQ. We work 80 hour weeks, typing into the early morning as Leah Finnegan, the “Sleigh Driver” we call her, stands above us screaming “mush.” When we’re lucky, she lets us have water. But between breaking ground on pressing concerns, we find time to enjoy the small things, meaning specifically the little words that show up near the headlines. For reference:

Those are called “brows.” You can find one on this post, under the headline and right of the byline. It says “Eugene Levy.” They might not seem like much to brag about and that would be accurate. Brows serve no clear purpose; they advance society in only an indirect capacity. They mostly underscore the limit of our sole shared brain cell. But it is the website’s birthday, and Leah made us scroll back through our easily navigable website to revisit some of the dumbest.


The Last Days of Ellen: Ellen Loves Javier Bardem

The Power of JoJo’s Mojo: Kylie’s Back!

Ezra Miller Stinks Allegedly

Vintage Gossip: Philip Larkin Had a Huge D

Talk Hole: Children of Folx

What Is Adele’s Last Name?

10 Essential Gifts for Dads

The Best Celebrity Comments on Joe Rogan’s N-Word Apology Video

Maureen Dowd Should Win the Nobel Prize in Literature

Known Cat Becomes Mayor of Hell

Some Ideas for Facebook’s New Name

Let Me Audit Taylor Swift’s NYU Course


Devastating: Chris Pratt Will Not Say “It’s-A Me Mario” in New Mario Film

Jeff Bezos’ Dick Too Small for Space

Chris Noth Denies Sexual Assault Allegations in Garbled Statement

Do You Think It Was Really Mr. Big In That Lamp?

Ezra Miller Causing Big Stink in the DC Metaverse

Justin Trudeau Commits Fashion Don’t While Greeting Men Named Michael

Fun Idea: Get A Mini Trampoline

Top 5 Things I Liked About Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas’s Doomed Erotic Thriller

Kristen Stewart: Princess Diana Could Have Used Some “Homies”

Daniel Craig Says James Bond Role Is for White Boys Only

Steven Pinker: Rationality is “Da Bomb”

Scientists Find New Hole

Alleged Yoga Mat-Toting Murderess Spotted At NYC Airport

Jason Sudeikis Either Did or Did Not Breakup With Model Girlfriend Keeley Hazell

Things Kyrsten Sinema Has Ruined

NFT Party Report: I Met A Spy Dressed as The Riddler

Papa John Pivots to Media Criticism

Trash Can From Myrtle Beach Completes Journey to Ireland

Regular Food Review: Another Hotel Waffle

Who Took This: Media Twitter Banner Edition

Did Stassi Schroeder Buy Her Way to the ‘New York Times’ Bestseller List?

Battle of the Blocks: H&R Block Sues Block FKA Square

Assimilationist Gay Penguins Living Heteronormative Fantasy

The New York Daily News: What If Joe Rogan Is Black?

I Believe Dr. Umar