Regular Food Review: Quaker Instant Oatmeal Flavor Variety Pack

An ideal post-tooth extraction meal

A top-down photo of a bowl of oatmeal.
Jenny G. Zhang
Slop
Regular Food Reviews

I recently bought a 52-pack of Quaker instant oatmeal, along with other packaged treats belonging to the general gustatory family of “mush” — yogurt, mango jello, chocolate pudding, rice pudding, and hummus — in preparation for a dental procedure that would be followed by a recovery period consisting of rest, care, and almost exclusively soft food. The procedure went fine, thanks, but the post-op stretch proved a bit challenging, texturally speaking. I like the occasional bowl of soft slop as much as the next person, but I was reminded of how much of my palate trends toward foods that have a bit of crunch, a bit of bite, a bit of spice — attributes that are generally not recommended when you have a gaping hole in the middle of your gum.

It wasn’t before long that I started sneaking in some chips here, some nuts there. But chewing them all on one side of my mouth, my head tilted so as to better facilitate this imbalance, grew tiresome. In those moments of weariness, I turned to my oatmeal. Its warmth was comforting, its gloopy texture easy on the mouth, its flavors (maple and brown sugar, apples and cinnamon, cinnamon and spice) tasty enough. It took getting an extraneous tooth pried out of my mouth for me to fully appreciate the humble charms of instant oatmeal, and for that I must thank my dentist. 3.5/5 stars.

P.S. Tooth pic:

Why is it curved like that?