Newest M&M Is a Theater Kid, Not a Dumpy Slut
The adorkable star is also the first female peanut M&M
In the world of M&M’s, everyone has their thing. Red is an asshole, Yellow is stupid, and Green used to be sexy but then she had to tamp it down to enter the workforce or something (sexist). Now there’s a new bitch on the block, Purple, and her thing is that she studied musical theater at the University of Michigan and she will not let you forget it.
Not only is she a triple threat — singing, dancing, tasty — but Purple is a pioneer in women’s rights. Purple is somehow the first ever female peanut M&M, despite the fact that being filled with nut was a woman’s primary job for most of history (again, sexist).
Like all good women who stand beside powerful men, she has a social cause. Per M&M’s, Purple is working to “help more people feel they belong." To relay that message to the masses, Purple released a music video for her hot new track, “I’m Just Gonna Be Me.”
In the video, she takes to the stage to introduce herself as a dorky homebody who loves doing puzzles and eating cheese. Like the most annoying theater kids, she is insisting on telling us she’s an introvert by performing an elaborate song and dance number.
“You might say I’m awkward / And hey, I would agree,” Purple sings. Orange, Yellow, and Brown concur, singing, “She’s pretty awkward,” but Purple rises above and claims her own narrative. “But let’s leave that line for me,” she tells them, drawing a hard professional boundary with her new coworkers. Someone has read their Sheryl Sandberg.
M&M’s said that Purple’s debut “celebrates all voices, encouraging people around the world to embrace their authentic selves.” That may seem like bullshit corporate jargon, but look no further than the YouTube comments to see that Purple is already resonating with the people.
One person wrote, “love it!!! i like the message ‘i just want to be me!’” Another said, “Congratulations on your official M&M's spokescandy debut, Purple! We will be looking forward for exciting content about you.”
I have to agree, I too am looking forward to exciting content about Purple. Most of all, I am so glad to see that she is finally putting her BFA to good use.
