Here’s Today’s Main Character or Whatever

Their only job is to bring people together for communal dunking

LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 17:  Attendees compete at the Pokemon European International Championship...
John Keeble/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Slow News Day

We’re only halfway through the workday and today’s main character has already emerged from the dark morass of Twitter:

This confession of using the threat of destroyed Pokemon cards as a currency in modern parenting, tweeted by former Republican National Committee communications staffer and self-described “Tory; libertarian; Arsenal fan” Liz Mair, has all the hallmarks of becoming the eye in the center of the next storm of insufferable discourse:

Hugely disproportionate ratio of quote-tweets to other engagement metrics? Check.

A snarky reply from Seth Rogen that has garnered more likes than the original tweet? Check.

Involving a weird approach to childrearing that is open to interpretation on a spectrum of “unorthodox” to “abusive”? Check.

In summary, it looks like we’ve got the next Bean Dad on our hands. Get your quote-tweets in early before dunking inflation goes through the roof.

But keep in mind, please, that Mair tweeted just last night that she was thinking of “tweeting deliberately crazy and offensive stuff” to stir things up:

And then followed up with a confirmation that this is probably all just one elaborate shitpost:

She sure showed us all. She likely did not burn her kids’ Pokemon cards; she is, however, still a libertarian.