The Thinking Person’s Icebreaker Questions

Throughout the course of life, one occasionally has to meet other people. Sometimes that person may even be a stranger, which can be an awkward situation, because what can two people who do not know each other talk about? And thus college RAs invented icebreaker questions, probing innocent bystanders to reveal two truths and a lie, or what books they’d bring to a desert island.

But that’s all old hat. Thankfully, Gawker has you covered — bypass the stilted first conversations with these more specific icebreakers, many of which are contemporary in scope, but still avoid the old taboo topics like religion and politics. Now get to gabbing:

1. Some people believe that all mosquitoes should be eradicated regardless of ecological consequences. Which side of this debate do you fall on and why?
2. If you had to choose between two superpowers, flight or invisibility (but just to mosquitoes), which would you choose?
3. Which species would you most like to be invisible to?
4. Which person would you most like to be invisible to?
5. Which person would you like to doom to invisibility for eternity?
6. Who is your, to borrow parlance from famous writer Roxane Gay, “nemesis”? (if answer is different from the previous question)
7. Who is your, to borrow parlance from equally famous writer Olivia Craighead, “tethered”?
8. If you were a mouse who got stuck on a glue trap, would you rather resign yourself to gradual death by starvation or chew off whichever limb was most stuck to the trap in a desperate bid for survival?
9. What’s your view on hunting?
10. What about wolf hunting, specifically that of the kind that takes place in states such as Wisconsin?
11. Which wild and presumably dangerous animal would you most like to pet, hypothetically, if you were guaranteed to come to no harm?
12. Who are your favorite internet-famous pets and what does that say about you psychologically?
13. Be honest: would you be an influencer if you could, and if so what would your cultural niche be?
14. Do you think the internet is ultimately a force for good or evil? (the answer cannot be “both”)
15. What’s your opinion of Ted Lasso?
16. What about poptimism? This is not a trick question.
17. Would you rather be the mother of an Ariana Grande impersonator hated by Ariana Grande or the publicist of DaBaby when he was dasparaging gay people?
18. Would you rather die before ever experiencing true love or live forever but during a time of global climate catastrophe?
19. Would you rather be pilloried for writing a <7.0 Pitchfork review of a beloved artist’s new album, or for going Scorsese and tweeting that the latest Marvel movie is a lifeless approximation of cinema that would only be appreciated by the most braindead of fans?
20. At what age do you think you will die, realistically?
21. Which family member would you save from a fire?
22. Let’s say a friend owes you $4.50 after you covered their Starbucks frap because they left their wallet in the car and there were too many people behind you in line so you were just like, “It’s cool, I got it,” but now it’s been a week and they still haven’t paid you back or even mentioned the IOU. Would you send them a Venmo request or decide to just leave it alone?
23. How do you feel about cryptocurrency?
24. If you had to be roommates with one of the famous cryptids (Nessie, Bigfoot, etc.), who would you pick for either physical or personality reasons or both?
25. Where were you the summer that Pokemon Go came out?
26. What do you always think will be a really good idea but it turns out to be a really bad idea?
27. When will you give up on your dreams?
28. Would you eat a placenta?
29. On a scale of 1–10, how much are you enjoying our conversation?