Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! These ABBA Holograms

Or as they're officially called, "ABBA-tars"

Picture taken in 1974 in Stockholm shows the Swedish pop group Abba with its members (L-R) Benny And...
Mamma Mia

“La question c’est voulez-vous,” sings ABBA in their song “Voulez-Vous.” I can speak French at the level of a three-year-old Parisian, but I know that this directly translates to “The question is, do you want to.” I found myself asking this same thing this morning when I learned that ABBA’s long-awaited hologram tour might finally be happening.

The answer is yes, I do want to.

The Swedish quartet has launched a new website called ABBA Voyage, which promises an announcement on September 2nd and asks fans to register for this mysterious project. When you register, you’re taken to a page that declares, “The wait is nearly over…”

The wait, as any ABBA fan worth their salt knows, is for the band’s hologram show, which has been in the works since 2016. Additionally, the BBC is reporting that ABBA will also release five new songs to accompany the show.

My issue is that the holograms won’t be touring, so much as they will only be able to be seen in one venue in London on a stage that is being built specifically for this show. That means that if I want to trip balls and watch the “ABBA-tars” of my favorite Eurovision winners sing “Super Trouper,” I have to book a transatlantic flight, get a hotel, and force myself to eat pey wet or some equally miserable British cuisine.

I’ll be honest, when I read the words “ABBA Voyage” I imagined that this would be some kind of cruise ship situation. Maybe a cruise to Greece, where fans could take in the sights from the Mamma Mia movie by day and watch the band get beamed onto a stage in their silly little outfits by night. Sadly, this is not the case, but I doubt ABBA is losing much sleep over it. I would guess that they’re going to make, conservatively, $1 billion off of the hologram show, and as they say in their song “Money, Money, Money,” it’s always sunny in a rich man’s world.