Did you know that Jason Alexander, the actor who played George Costanza on Seinfeld, was only 29 when he filmed the first season of that show? A lot of people in my age cohort or above, i.e., in their late 20s or early to mid-30s — seem to be having that realization lately, paired with a growing existential horror at the fact that time, like wrinkles, eventually comes for us all. I don’t know what to tell those people, except: yes, that’s generally how the passage of time works.
But I get it. Life is fleeting, and people do not like to be reminded that there is less of it for them now than there was before. If you are one of those people who do like to reflect on these matters, however, then I have some factoids lined up for you to more acutely experience the sensation of having aged. Take a stroll down memory lane and ask yourself, “FEEL OLD YET?”
Homer Simpson was 34 years old at the beginning of The Simpsons.
Danny Tanner from Full House was 29 by the time he was a widower with three children.
Angelica’s mom Charlotte Pickles was 34 and already a strong, independent She-EO trying to have it all in Rugrats.
FEEL OLD YET?
Tony Soprano committed his first murder at the age of 23.
Abraham Lincoln assassin John Wilkes Booth was just 27 years old when he was killed on the run from murdering the 16h president of the United States.
Mary, mother of Jesus, was 12–14 years old when she was betrothed to Joseph.
FEEL OLD YET?
Will Smith’s son Jaden is now older than Smith was when he first starred in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
That 13-year-old who the internet bullied mercilessly for her song Friday? She’s a queer icon now.
Marie Antoinette was 37 when she was executed; if she were still alive today, she would be 266 years old.
FEEL OLD YET?
You remember Gunther from Friends? He was 32 when Friends started airing… and he’s dead now. (RIP.)
Alfred the Great was only in his early 20s when he became king of the West Saxons and not even 40 when he became king of the Anglo-Saxons.
Mount Vesuvius’s eruption that buried Pompeii lasted a whole 18 hours.
FEEL OLD YET?
Stonehenge was built around 5,000 years ago.
It takes a minimum of 12 months for Parmigiano-Reggiano to age.
The moon? Yeah, it’s 4.425 billion years old.
FEEL OLD YET?
The universe is infinitely expanding.
Oscar Isaac is 42; Timothee Chalamet, who plays his son in Dune, is 25; Rebecca Ferguson, who plays the wife and the mom, is 38. Also, Timmy’s character Paul is supposed to be 15? Yeah, okay.
You used to be 11 years younger than you are now. And someday, in approximately 11 years from now, you will be 11 years older than you are now.
FEEL OLD YET?
