Zac Efron: My Fucked-Up Face Is All Natural, Baby

He just shattered it on a granite fountain

LONDON, ENGLAND - APRIL 24: Zac Efron attends the "Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile" Europ...
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Zac Efron, memba him? Unless you are an agèd High School Musical stan or a passionate devotee to Stephen King adaptations, you probably have not thought about him recently. I’d wager that the last time you really took note of the Hairspray star was back in 2021, when he appeared in an Earth Day video with Bill Nye looking like he had spent some time with plastic surgeon to the stars Dr. Jason Diamond.

“It’s fillers! It’s a new jaw! It’s a face lift!” Everyone had a different theory about why the former teen idol’s face suddenly looked like that. We were all wrong, apparently. In a new profile in Men’s Health promoting Efron’s upcoming movie The Greatest Beer Run Ever (a Vietnam War comedy from the guy who brought you Green Book), the record is set straight.

“He’d been running through his house in socks and slipped, smacking his chin against the granite corner of a fountain. He lost consciousness, and when he woke up, he recalls, his chin bone was hanging off his face,” recounts writer Lauren Larson. According to Efron, his masseter muscles had to compensate for his shattered jaw, leading to them become “really, really big.”

Allow me to put my bad cop hat on for a moment and say, “A likely story.” A granite fountain? In a house? A 30-something man running through his house in his socks like a child? Losing consciousness after hitting your chin? This story has all the hallmarks of a fake alibi: it’s embarrassing, there’s too many details, and the much simpler answer is right there (fillers).

If this is true, it wouldn’t be the first time Efron has fucked up his jaw to an extreme degree. In 2013, he had to have his jaw wired shut after breaking it. This led to one of E! Online’s greatest headlines, “Zac Efron’s Broken Jaw Happened During...Sex?!

The sex part was a joke made by Michael B. Jordan and Miles Teller, but it makes about as much sense as sliding on your socks into an indoor granite fountain and losing consciousness. Breaking your jaw twice is crazy, so crazy that it’s hard to believe it ever happened. If he breaks it a third time we will have no choice but to conclude that he got a brow lift.