Tom Brady has had quite the year. First he retired, then he unretired, then his wife left him, then all of his crypto investments went bottoms up, and now he will end his year alone in a hotel room on Christmas Eve. It’s almost sad, if you don’t think about the fact that everything bad in Brady’s life is a direct result of his own actions.
The Bucs quarterback will be spending the holiday in a hotel room in Arizona, preparing for a Christmas game against the Cardinals. On his podcast, Let's Go!, Brady opined about his upcoming Christmas Eve plans:
It'll be a new experience that I've never had before that I'm gonna learn how to deal with… And I think that's what life's about… I'm gonna learn how to deal with Christmas Eve in a hotel, and I'm gonna have to learn how to deal with Christmas and Christmas night and still go out there and be a professional, and then look forward to celebrating Christmas with my kids the day after.
Oh my god. “I’m gonna learn how to deal with Christmas Eve in a hotel” is levels of divorced dad previously reached only by that scene in The Santa Clause where all the single dads take their kids to Denny’s on the 24th. Brady might as well lean into his newfound status as an aging man losing everything around him. Before you know it he’ll be hitting on every cocktail waitress in the greater Tampa area and buying a motorcycle he doesn’t know how to ride.
The silver lining for Brady and his children is that the Bucs will probably beat the Cardinals, meaning that papa will be in a good mood when he finally gets to see his kids on the 26th. And who knows? Maybe he’ll get extra lucky and three ghosts will visit to tell him that he needs to retire again.