The Tongue Goes Inside the Mouth

Unless you are eating a popsicle or making a funny face


There are a few good reasons for your tongue to be outside of your mouth. It is a nice face stretch, sticking your tongue out as far as it can go. You could be eating a popsicle, or licking a lollipop. You could be at a wedding where a photographer says, “Let’s do a silly one.” Those are all perfectly fine reasons to release your tongue from its rightful place (inside the mouth).

What is not a good reason is kissing. If you are a grown adult who has kissed people before, you should know that the tongue goes into the other person’s mouth. If you can feel a breeze on your tongue while making out with someone, that is not a kiss. You are being gross.

The youngest person in that picture is 31 years old. All of them have children, so they have presumably had sex where there was (hopefully) kisssing involved. Each of them should know that this is not where the tongue goes.

Even the most sex positive among us must admit that this is vile. I won’t even get into the fact that they’re doing this in a bathroom, where fecal matter gets flung into the air with each flush. It is not punk, or even pop-punk. It is merely evocative of the sensation of two squishy mollusks bumping up against each other. Cut it out.