The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Are Not the Arbiters of Justice We Thought They Were

Jail for Erika Jayne

Allie Jones
Get the Fuck Out

There’s a lot going on in this 12th season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Dorit Kemsley was robbed at gunpoint in her Encino mansion. Kathy Hilton is hiding in a bunker somewhere after allegedly saying something homophobic and/or racist. Sutton Stracke’s designer got stuck in France and she’s been putting out fires all morning. But the most egregious narrative this season belongs to one Erika Jayne Girardi, the 50-year-old would-be pop star who may or may not have been involved in her estranged husband’s scheme to defraud widows and orphans out of settlement payments related to their tragedies.

Erika, the other ladies note, has a new attitude this season, even as lawsuits related to Tom Girardi’s alleged crimes continue to swirl around her. She’s taking a range of unspecified medications and getting drunk a lot, and guess what: They think that’s great.

On last night’s episode, we once again joined the gals in various states of inebriation at Garcelle’s birthday party at the SLS hotel in Beverly Hills. Kyle Richards was doing the splits, Erika was on her 14th spicy margarita, and now Sutton was telling new castmember Diana Jenkins that actually, I’ve had more miscarriages than you. But the night really took a turn for the demonic when Erika 1) loudly propositioned Garcelle’s married 30-year-old son for a threesome and 2) told Garcelle’s 14-year-old son to “get the fuck out” for no apparent reason.

Is this fun behavior? Well, it’s nice to see Erika cut loose, said Kyle, Dorit, and their husbands later. At a dinner party at Kyle and her husband Mauricio Umansky’s house, the foursome reflected on Erika’s “new attitude.”

“Did you guys miss that Erika said to Garcelle’s son, the 14-year-old, to go fuck off?” said Kyle. “I mean, it’s not funny, but it is funny.”

“I think it’s great that she did that,” said Mauricio, laughing uncontrollably (probably related to his nightly bong rips).

Then the couples agreed that it was nice to see Erika get drunk, actually. “She was so loose and free,” said Dorit. “And fun!” added Kyle. They all determined that Erika should get “a pass,” given what she’s been through in the last two years.

Well sure, everyone’s entitled to get fucked up and commit a little sexual harrassment and verbal abuse after allegedly siphoning millions of dollars from their attorney-husband’s clients, who are the victims of plane crashes and natural disasters. That’s like, rule one of America.

Unfortunately, it seems the ladies — except for Garcelle and Sutton and maybe Crystal Minkoff but who knows — have decided that Erika is a victim and should be treated accordingly. I never expect too much from these girls in terms of moral clarity but nonetheless I’m disappointed. Sutton is too dumb and socially unsettling to make a convincing argument against Erika, which leaves Garcelle standing pretty much alone. It’s sad and boring. I’d like to see Erika’s cop son take her straight to jail.