Oh God, The 1975 Is Back on Tour

Last night, during my bedtime routine of swiping through TikTok until my thumb hurts, I saw something that terrified me. It was this video of The 1975’s Matty Healy performing onstage in Brighton, England:

To the untrained eye, this probably means nothing. A famous musician supporting the nationwide strikes of workers in industries ranging from healthcare to rail? That’s actually pretty cool. And he’s doing it in autotune before launching into the band’s hit 2018 song “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME”? What’s not to love? If you are living your life in this kind of blissful ignorance, I am jealous. Because for me, this means only one thing: The 1975 are back on the road after taking a holiday break, and soon I will be once again inundated with videos about all of Healy’s onstage antics, leaving me to struggle with just how much I love the man.

I was proven correct this morning, when one of my coworkers put this video into Slack, noting that they “really do not care for this guy”:

God I wish that were me. Which one, you’re asking. The girl having her thumb sucked or the person who does not care for this guy? My legal team is advising me not to answer that question, but I’m no coward so I’ll tell you right now that the answer is both. If you do not fuck with Healy, that’s totally okay. But maybe this video made you a little curious, and you’re wondering what the heck this guy’s deal is. Let me try to answer your questions to the best of my ability.

Why Is He Sucking That Thumb?

Well, in the past he has been known to kiss fans (of any gender) onstage, so I would say that this is a step up from that. But to answer your question, it’s because he’s playing the character of a dirtbag rockstar.

Is He Actually a Dirtbag?

I don’t know the man, but I think he’s just a troll. He’s friendly with some of the Dimes Square set, and you will probably get a better sense of his vibe if you look at the slideshow of memes he posted at the end of the year. Trigger warning, I guess, one of them is an image of the Twin Towers falling in which someone has outlined two people having sex.

And People Like This?

People love it. Not only does The 1975 have a fanbase that goes absolutely apeshit for this behavior, but the band is beloved by critics with many heralding their last album, Being Funny in a Foreign Language, as one of their best.

I Still Don’t Think I Like This Guy.

That is so fair.