Slap Update CCCXLVII: Wanda Sykes Is Pissed, Chris Rock Is Laughin’

And Will Smith continues to be fucked

L:Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images, R: Myung Chun/Getty Images
This Is Still Happening

A long time ago, years probably, Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars. It feels like a distant memory to those of us who watched it on TV, but it lives on in the minds of the people who were most affected by it. Namely Rock himself and Wanda Sykes, who was co-hosting the awards ceremony.

Both comedians are on tour right now, and their audiences are simply demanding they talk about The Slap. “Tell us everything,” they are heckling from their seats, foaming at the mouth, as if they did not watch it happen live on television. Thankfully, Rock and Sykes are for the people, and are opening up about their experiences.

“I’m OK, if anybody was wondering,” Rock told an audience in London on Thursday. “I got most of my hearing back.” Now, I thought he was exaggerating by saying this, but a colleague confirmed via their own experience that you can in fact lose some hearing if you are slapped in the right way. It’s something about forcing a lot of air into your ear canal at once.

After explaining that he would actually not be talking about The Slap (he’s saving it for a Netflix special), Rock had some words of wisdom for the audience: “Anyone who says ‘words hurt’ — has never been punched in the face.”

Not to be soooo picky, but it’s not called The Punch. Words might not hurt but they do mean things.

As for what Sykes had to say, she’s pissed. On stage in Orlando, the New Adventures of Old Christine star said that she was “still traumatized” from the event. “I couldn't believe he was still sitting there, like an asshole… Shouldn't you be sitting there with a lawyer or LAPD, motherfucker?”

“I hope he gets his shit together. Until then, fuck him.” Sykes told the crowd.

Well, for the moment, Smith is fucked. His movie Emancipation — previously thought to be another surefire Oscar contender — has been pushed to 2023 by AppleTV+, he hasn’t said a word to the public since posting an Instagram apology (where is Oprah??), and he’s been banned from attending the Oscars for ten years. Guess he’ll have to watch Austin Butler’s speech from home.