Rihanna's Pregnant! Should I Get Pregnant Too or Do I Just Want to Be Her Baby?

Just last month, Rihanna shut down pregnancy rumors when a fan messaged her on Instagram asking if she could be invited to her baby shower (Rihanna replied by saying “Y’all breed me every year dammit lol”).

Well, it turns out she and A$AP Rocky are expecting a child, as they revealed today in People.

I am very happy for Rihanna and Mr. Rocky, even if this means her followup to 2016’s ANTI will not happen for a while, if ever. She’s always wanted a baby, good for her. But like most women, I have to do anything Rihanna does. Is Fenty makeup any better than other similar brands? I don’t care, I still buy it.

But with this pregnancy news, I find myself mentally all over the place. Like Rihanna, I also eventually want many children (she told Vogue that she wants “3 or 4” kids). And I would love to be pregnant at the same time as Rihanna so we could share this gestational journey.

But I am in no position to have kids right now, nor do I really want to be pregnant, so my mind goes in a different direction: What if I could be Rihanna’s baby? It would be so nice to be cradled by her, inhaling her amazing scent. She is only a few years older than me, so I guess what I am talking about right now is just friendship, but one in which she feeds me soft foods with a spoon.

All I want is to be in her orbit, although now I’m thinking that this blog is NOT helping my cause. Rihanna, if you’re reading this — I am normal, but also kind of crazy (in a fun way) and also I am great at keeping secrets. Let me babysit?