Prince Harry Is Getting Sent to The Hague

And justice will be served

Britain's Prince Harry attends the Adam Tower project introduction and global partnership between Bo...
Crimes Against Family

A member of the royal family being sent to The Hague? It’s more likely than you think. Prince Harry will be at the site of the International Court of Justice next month — not for any of his many crimes (possible breach of contract with Spotify, refusal to go bald with dignity), but to attend the Invictus Games. That is essentially the Olympics for wounded, injured, and sick servicemen and women, and the Dutch hosts are very excited about it. So excited that they made the Duke of Sussex do Zoom sketch comedy for a promo spot.

If you ask me, the Invictus Games should take themselves to The Hague for making a ginger with pink undertones wear so much orange. The U.N. will be hearing about this.

Much like myself and anyone else with a sense of humor, some loose-lipped people close to the royal family apparently don’t find Harry’s SNL audition very funny. He recently made waves amongst The Firm for saying that he would not attend Prince Phillip’s memorial due to “security concerns,” so you can imagine how upsetting it is to see him goofing around in Dutch.

Former royal chef Darren McGrady told the Daily Mail, “His grandfather would have given him a clip around the ear and told him to grow up… The Queen will be devastated, and Princess Diana would, too, if she were here.” Neither McGrady nor I should be putting words in Diana’s mouth, but I really do think she would be most upset about Harry having no sense of style or comedic timing.

Unfortunately, even when committed by former royals, neither of those transgressions are technically “war crimes,” and Harry will most likely just be having a nice time at #TheHague. Sounds like a fun trip!