Dio Mio! Michael Bay Accused of Italian Birdslaughter

Justice for the pigeon that allegedly died on set

US director Michael Bay attends the premiere of "Ambulance" at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures...

Depending on who you believe, Michael Bay either did or did not murder a pigeon in Italy. Oh mio dio! According to Italian authorities who have pressed charges against the director, the pigeon was killed by a dolly in 2018 during production of Bay’s film 6 Underground, which came out in 2019 and has the distinction of being one of the most expensive Netflix original movies ever made — and now, the distinction of being associated with alleged bird homicide. Che scandalo!

“I am a well-known animal lover and major animal activist,” Bay told TheWrap, denying the accusations. “No animal involved in the production was injured or harmed. Or on any other production I’ve worked on in the past 30 years.” It’s unclear to me whether or not the alleged victim was “involved” in the production of the Ryan Reynolds action flick, or if it was just hanging out in its home when it was crushed to death by a dolly. Is this a union issue or one about bystanders, ya know?

Someone involved with production corroborated the authorities’ story, telling TheWrap that a homing pigeon was in fact killed by a dolly in the middle of a take. Pigeons are a protected species in Italy, so the death of one has been taken very seriously. The incident was reported to the polizia by someone else who was on set and took a photo of the dead bird. Gross.

You can call Bay lots of things that won’t bother him — sexist, conservative, an old guy with a 17-year-old’s haircut — but you will not call him an animal killer. Despite the fact that he is only being asked to pay a small fine that his $500-million-net-worth ass can definitely afford, he is still putting up a fight.

“We have clear video evidence,” Bay insisted, “a multitude of witnesses, and safety officers that exonerates us from these claims. And disproves their one paparazzi photo — which gives a false story.”

Bay said that he felt sure he would “prevail when I have my day in court.” So dramatic. If I learned one thing from reading Amanda Knox’s Wikipedia page, it’s that you do not want to mess with the Italian court system. But godspeed to this alleged pigeon murderer. As he himself said on the infamous Armageddon DVD commentary, making films is like a war. Maybe it’s best to chalk this one up to a casualty of friendly fire and go back to ogling women or whatever it is he does in his spare time.