Martha Stewart Does Not Own a Mug

Martha Stewart is, to me, the only food and lifestyle celebrity influencer who will stand the test of time. When I’m sick of whatever viral nonsense the trendy bean girl of the month is peddling, I turn to Martha Stewart Living to find a real recipe that I know will turn out great.

In an appearance on The Tonight Show, the ever-charming Stewart promoted her new HGTV show Table Wars and her new-ish website Martha, which will sell her home goods and NFTs. (??). She mentioned that the best-selling one so far depicts her as a “naughty nurse” covered in blood and blinking. Sure, Martha, whatever you say.

Jimmy Fallon is not normally one to extract useful or interesting information out of a guest, but we did get some insight into Stewart’s weird life. When Jimmy proposed an idea about a self-stirring coffee mug, Stewart revealed that she does not like mugs of any kind.

“I don’t like mugs. They are clumsy and ugly. I don’t own a mug in my house. I have beautiful cups.” Wait, that’s an option? I happen to also believe mugs are so ugly, clumsy and impractical that I have only one mug in my entire kitchen that I got for free when I appeared on a radio show. If someone wants a hot beverage in my home, good luck. The existence of other, “beautiful” options is intriguing to me, and I’m dying to know what the difference between a cup that can hold a warm beverage and a classic “mug” is. This is a line of questioning Jimmy Fallon does not pursue of course, God forbid he show some intellectual curiosity for once in his life.

Either way, I’m happy to know that if Martha Stewart herself is anti-mug, there must be so many more of us out there. We exist, and we’re very thirsty.