Mumford Abandons His Sons

And just after Father’s Day at that

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 15: Ted Dwane, Ben Lovett, Marcus Mumford and Winston Marshall of Mumford...
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He Won't Wait

We’ve all heard about the fathers who go out for a pack of cigarettes and never come back. Lesser represented are the fathers who attend the Cannes Lions festival and announce that they have abandoned their sons while performing at an intimate Spotify event. Finally, those fathers are getting their day thanks to Marcus Mumford.

Page Six reported that the Mumford & Sons frontman announced to a crowd on Monday that they were among the first people to hear his solo work. Exciting for them (assuming they like belty faux Americana stuff); horrible for Mumford’s sons.

The band has been on shaky ground for a minute, ever since banjo player Winston Marshall got redpilled by Andy Ngo and broke ranks in 2021. The other sons are — as far as I know — innocent, and didn’t deserve to be abandoned by their papa.

As for Mumford’s two biological children with Carey Mulligan, they still have a father as far as we know. But sadly for Ted Dwane (bass) and Ben Lovett (keys), they will have to find a new parental figure with whom to sing their jangly tunes.