Mission Complete: Cory Booker and Rosario Dawson Break Up

New Jersey’s finest vegan restaurant just got a Valentine’s Day cancellation. After more than two years of dating, Sen. Cory Booker and Rosario Dawson have called it quits, according to People. But don’t worry, a source close to Sen. Booker told the tabloid that the two “remain good friends.” Thank god.

Like many couples who moved in with each other during the peak of pandemic uncertainty, theirs was not a relationship that was built to last. There’s no amount of gushing to the press that could make up for the fact Dawson was never going to vote for Sen. Booker in a presidential election, unless every other candidate died. Dawson’s own mother told Sen. Booker that he didn’t have her vote — how are you supposed to come back from that?

But since today is Valentine’s Day, let’s celebrate the love that these two crazy kids used to share. Like when Dawson left Los Angeles, drove across the country, and moved to Newark. Or when he texted her about being a clue in the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle. Or when Dawson told Jimmy Fallon that Booker’s “weirdest habit at home” was taking ice-cold showers in the morning. Or the time they bought a food processor and it was a People exclusive. Some of us can only dream about a love like that.

Neither Dawson nor Sen. Booker have commented on the split yet, so there’s no official line about why they broke up. If I were to venture a guess, I would say it is probably because Dawson is a beautiful, talented, multi-hyphenate progressive and former Bernie Sanders surrogate and Sen. Booker is an uncharismatic goober who is legally required to live in New Jersey, and who could not crack the Democratic primary despite at one point raising more money from Silicon Valley billionaires than any other candidate. He’s also a 52-year-old man with a corner of his house devoted to Baby Yoda merch, so that couldn’t have helped.