Leonardo DiCaprio Has Entered His Jack Nicholson Era

New beach photos prove it

Allie Jones
Inexorable March of Time

New paparazzi photos of Leonardo DiCaprio, 47, and his model girlfriend Camila Morrone, 24, hanging out on a Malibu beach were published this morning with rapturous awe from the tabloids, as they show something we have rarely seen from DiCaprio and his many previous model girlfriends: affection. In the images, DiCaprio gives Morrone a brief kiss on the forehead. Aww! They are also wearing matching khaki outfits. In some of the images, DiCaprio ventures into the water, putting his average 47-year-old body on display.


While this slide into casual, paunchy domesticity has been happening for a while, today’s photos indicate something definitive: DiCaprio has officially hit the Jack Nicholson plateau.

What is the Jack Nicholson plateau? Nicholson himself hit it in 2004, when he was 67. Leading up to this point, in the ‘70s, ‘80s, and ‘90s, Nicholson had famously dated every model and actress available, including Candice Bergen, Anjelica Huston, Angie Everhart, Lara Flynn Boyle, and (allegedly, according to her) Sonja Morgan. He had a last hurrah with Kate Moss in 2004, and then he really slowed down. He stopped publicly dating and started skipping Hollywood events, save for Lakers games. He finally relaxed into his advanced years and stopped trying to chase women and lose weight for roles. It was time.

DiCaprio seems to have hit the Nicholson plateau early, at the medium-ripe age of 47. He hasn’t had a new model girlfriend since Morrone, whom he started dating in 2018. They ADOPTED TWO HUSKY DOGS together during the pandemic. And now he’s kissing her on the forehead in public.

Our beloved Pussy Posse founder has also seemed to give up on trying to get unnaturally buff for the big screen. His next two roles are literally Teddy Roosevelt and Jim Jones. He won’t be contractually obligated to see the inside of a gym again for years, if ever.

DiCaprio is looking so relaxed these days, he may even stay with Morrone past her 25th birthday, which is next month. Congrats to her on bagging a tired middle-aged man.